our hunch was right

We're having another...

What an awesome privilege to raise boys in a world that needs a few more good men! And... I'll still be able to sign our family letters "love Adriel & the boys" which I've grown quite fond of. Bonus.

We're so excited to think about the bond of brothers and how much fun they will have together. No doubt they will keep me busy (and in the kitchen!), but I am genuinely glad to be welcoming another little dude into the family and let his tiny heart invade mine own. Levi has made me fall in love with little boys in a way that I never thought possible. And of course Ryan is thrilled to have another member of the soccer team. Or basketball team. Or football team. Whatever. (Joke, people! They can join the ballet for all we care.)

Now it's onto the challenge of thinking of boy names, which we find much harder than girls names!

Baby is 19 weeks along and we look forward to my doctors appointment next week to hear all of the results of the scan. Can't believe this pregnancy is nearly half finished already! Yikes. It is flying by.

We love our baby boy Booker and thank God for his precious life.

Dear friends, that's all from me today. Just wanted to share our wonderful news! Do you have any advice for being a mom to boys?? And in celebration of one year of the Memos (and boys all around!) make sure to check out my pregnancy and baby-related giveaways below.

love, adriel & the boys xx

Yay! YOU get presents in honor of 

MY birthday! How fun is that??

Enter to win The Pregnancy Companion. 

Win it for yourself or to give as a gift to an expecting friend.

Just leave a comment here. Giveaway closes May 15, 2011.

Enter to win a Peekabooby nursing cover!

Leave a comment here. Giveaway ends May 20, 2011.

Are you an expecting mama? Link up with the 

Bloggin' Babes and Babies of 2011 here.

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2011
do not reproduce without written permission

enough is enough

How do you make room in your life for baby number two?

As much as I feel my heart is big enough for another child, I sometimes feel as if my head is not. (Not to mention my energy supply.)

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about our new baby and how carrying her* is so much different to carrying our first.

{24 weeks pregnant with baby #1}

When I was pregnant with Levi, so much of my little internal world revolved around thoughts of him, thoughts of impending motherhood, thoughts of how our world was turning upside-down.

And yet with the new baby it is so different. So much of my headspace is already taken up with thoughts of how to care for Levi: How can I get him to eat his veggies? Is it possible to make him sleep in a little longer in the mornings? (9:00am would be good *wink*.) When should I start potty training him or moving him from a crib to a bed? How do I discipline well and how do I keep my cool when he’s having a tantrum? How will I take care of him while meeting the demands of a newborn?

So many thoughts and questions… and so often pointing back to him.

And then I feel guilty. Guilty that I think of him far more than I think of my new baby. Or, more accurately, that I don't think of my new baby the same way I thought of Levi throughout my first pregnancy.

I feel like perhaps I should be more aware of my pregnancy… more in tune with my growing baby… more something.

And yet I know that baby is tucked up in my womb receiving everything from me that he* needs, and at the same time God is forming and fashioning him to be the person who he is and will be. It’s all happening just right, just perfectly, despite where my headspace is during the whole process.

I know there will come a time when she* is my arms and I will struggle with guilt in the same way related to Levi. I will be breastfeeding her around the clock, changing her diapers a thousand times more than Levi’s, ooo-ing over her little infant milestones like her first smile, holding her head up, and rolling over… while Levi, no doubt, will be vying for some of his old attention back.

It will be a tension to work out then, but it is not one to worry about now.

And I guess parenting is like that. Being a mom is like that.

There will always be a tension between all that I desire to do and the reality of what I actually can do.

I will never think of my babies enough, pray for them enough, nurture them enough, train and teach and coach them enough, listen to them enough, spend time with them enough.

But this I know – I will always love them enough. My love will be as deep and as wide as is humanly possible from a dedicated—yet imperfect—parent. And where I fall short there will be others there to fill in the gaps: their daddy, extended family, dear friends, even God himself.

And that is what gives me comfort when I have those “I will never be enough” thoughts.

Because the amount of my headspace taken up by thoughts of my new baby is no indication of how I feel about him*. As simplistic as it sounds, it really is just a casualty of a very busy, very emotionally and physically draining, and very intense (yet still precious and fun!) season of life that I'm already in as a new(ish) mom of a toddler.

My new baby is loved, incredibly loved, and that—combined with my commitment to parent to the best of my ability—is enough.

Dear friends, do you ever feel like your ‘enough’ isn’t enough? If so, what do you do to tame the negative, guilt-ridden thoughts running through your mind?

loving my babies, parenting as best i can, and believing it's enough,

*Since I don't yet know the gender of baby #2 (and since I don't like to call him/her "it") I have alternated between masculine and feminine pronouns by paragraph. Hopefully it's not too confusing.

Are you an expecting mom? Have you linked-up yet?

Join the Bloggin' Babes and Babies of 2011.

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2011
do not reproduce without written permission

are you pregnant? link up your bump!

I have lost track of how many of my blogging friends are pregnant - there are just so dang many!

To celebrate all of the beautiful babies of 2011 (and their mamas!), I thought we could do a link-up! All you need to do is link-up your blog below and then visit whoever you'd like. (Everyone loves to have buddies to journey through pregnancy with, right?!) Just link-up your blog's url, don't worry about linking to a specific post (unless you'd like to). That way your visitors will get whatever is fresh!

I've left lots of space in the linky for you to enter your title... so when you do so, enter your name, blog title, AND your due date so you have the option to visit people who are going through pregnancy at a similar stage as you.

Feel free to let your other expecting bloggy friends know about this link-up too - I will leave it up until the end of the year. Let's see how much of the pregnant sector of the blogosphere we can round-up!!

Also, while we're on the subject of pregnancy and babies... here are a few of my best pregnancy and birth posts from the archives in case you are new here, or in case you'd just like a refresher:

• A practical and helpful post: A girlfriend's tips and tricks for mamas-to-be
• A mushy and sentimental post: Birth is holy, treat it as such 
• A snarky and sarcastic post: Dear Natural Birth Club
• An all-in-one post: 100 things you've just got to know {about pregnancy, birth, and becoming a mom}

Alright my beautiful mama-to-be friends, happy linking! Here's to healthy, happy pregnancies... and lots and lots of amazing, adorable babies in 2011!! 

glowing with you,

p.s. Feel free to right-click and copy the image url from above if you'd like to use the image in a post. I'm not going to make a button at the moment! :) And if decide to write a post, please make sure to leave the link in a comment and let me know so that I don't miss it!!

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2011
do not reproduce without written permission

Please leave your name, blog title, and due date:

example: Adriel @ the mommyhood memos (due Oct 7)

i want one of these

So... lately I've been obsessing over this photo that we have on our fridge:

I can sometimes be found with a milk jug in one hand, the open fridge door in the other, gawking at this glorious photo while time stands still.

I look at that little bundle of heaven I had in my arms and can't believe that my spunky, hilarious, strong, independent, quick, sweet, talkative, constantly-on-the-go toddler easily fit within the length of my forearm not that long ago.

I just want another one of those.

If I wasn't already pregnant I'd be trying to be.

Cuz I just want another one of those. Oh wait, I already said that.

I want to hold an itty-bitty, teeny-tiny child and know that s/he's mine to love, and laugh with, and learn from... as long as I have breath.

Lucky for me that in 27 weeks I get to do it all over again.

Those beautiful expressions on our faces - Enthralled Mama and Proud Papa? They will make another grand entrance.

Yup, 27ish more weeks.

I can't wait.

Take your time sweet baby. Although I can't wait... this mama can wait. Grow well. Grow strong. Grow healthy. This is the only time we'll ever have together when I don't have to share you with the world.

excited is an understatement,

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2011
  do not reproduce without written permission

follow-up to the "waning about weaning" post

For those of you that may have commented earlier on my post waning about weaning (when did you stop breastfeeding?) I wanted to encourage you to visit again and read all of the comments that have since come in. There is a gold mine of experience and wisdom there among the feedback.

And for those who have asked, I also wanted to give a quick update with regards to where we're up to in the mommy's milk verses cow's milk dilemma.

I've decided to continue to nurse Levi first thing in the morning and at bed time for the time being, but during the day he's now drinking cow's milk.

One day a few weeks back I just tried giving him diluted cow's milk in a sippy instead of nursing him when he woke up from his nap... and he hasn't asked for mommy's milk during the day since! We were really lucky to have a smooth and easy transition when I introduced cow's milk (which reassured me he was ready).

He loves his sippy cup milk... and he still loves his mommy's milk to start and finish the day, so it's working out great for us! I love the freedom of not nursing during the days, it's not seemed to effect my supply for the other feedings (which I was a bit concerned about), he's still getting the benefits of breast milk for the time being, and I continue have my brief (very brief) moments of stillness with him in my arms that would otherwise be impossible to get with my busy little go-er!

I feel like it's a win-win-win-win. Yup, an all around win.

The other factor in my equation is that I'm not keen on breastfeeding two babies at once. For moms who choose to nurse a toddler and an infant at the same time - good for you! I think that's great if that's your thing. Personally I think it's just too much for me as I already struggle to keep the pounds on as is. (Breastfeeding has caused me to revert back to my 16-year old body size which is underweight for my height and quite honestly makes me feel waify* and unhealthy!) I know the body is an amazing and adaptable thing, but I already feel stretched to my capacity just nursing one child. I don't want to attempt two, thankyouverymuch.

So... this is where we're up to and I'm very pleased with our arrangement for the time being. It's a balance that's working really well for all of us, and I feel it will lend itself to a natural progression of weaning the last two feeds when Levi and I are both ready.

Dear friends, thanks to each one of you who took the time to comment on the original "waning about weaning" post last month. You gave some great food for thought - on a lot of levels. I'm so grateful.

love,

* Waify - pretty sure I just made that word up. But you get it... right? ;)

P.S. We're camping at the moment, so if I don't respond to comments and emails right away... that's why. No phones or internet for me!

regression and progression: the plight of a toddler

For the last several weeks, Levi has stopped saying mama and dada. He’s also stopped giving kisses, save for the very rare instance.

Oh, the torture! 

As a mom, all I want is to hear Levi call me mama when he’s trying to get my attention. (It sounds so much sweeter than whining!) And of course I desperately want my good morning kisses and pre-nap and bedtime kisses back. (Not to mention the impromptu ones that come in between.)

But alas, Levi’s lips are sealed.

On the other hand, last weekend he went from taking 4-5 steps at a time (which he’s been doing for what feels like ages now) to walking across the room. It was an over-night change. And of course in just a matter of days he’s also discovered he can walk all over the house, carry his toys around, and even play chase… all on his feet. Big boy. 

{And I swear he had an attempt at running this morning. Really? Really? Yikes people... This is for real.}

I was starting to wonder if his “no speak, no kiss” phenomena was linked to his developmental leap toward walking when I came across this:

Be aware that right around 12 months is when many children are learning to walk AND talk. These are huge skills, and each one can suck up all of your toddler’s physical and emotional energy for a while and lead to some weird behavior (aka toddler regression). For instance, it’s not at all uncommon for a toddler who’s been adding a word a day to his vocabulary to suddenly cease talking as he masters the art of putting one foot in front of the other. When you’re tackling the big milestones, it’s hard to multitask — toddlers can become so focused on the new skill they’re mastering (or just about to master) that their other abilities often waver a bit. (Source: What to Expect.)

So there you go, an explanation that makes perfect sense. (Sort-of?!)

Isn’t it strange to think that sometimes a perceived step backward is leading to an even bigger step forward? (I could get all deep and philosophical here, but just this once… I’m gonna skip it.)

Oh, the plight of a toddler. The tug between regression and progression.

Their little brains and bodies go on overload and they unconsciously regulate… as if to say, “One thing at a time mama; one thing at a time.”

I could take that advice for myself every once-and-a-while: One thing at a time Adriel; one thing at a time.

Dear friends, have you noticed regression and progression being linked in your child’s development? Was it alarming for you or were you able to recognize it?

progressing… mostly,

An update: After posting this... I got three kisses tonight. Heaven. *grin*

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2010 
do not reproduce without written permission

what are your favorite baby shower games?

Help! I'm throwing a baby shower for a friend next week and I need some good ideas. What are your favorite things to do (games, activities, etc.) at baby showers? All ideas are welcome... {grin}

Dear friends, don't you love celebrating mamas and their new, adorable babies?! Tell me about the best baby shower you ever went to...

excited,

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2010 
do not reproduce without written permission

oh teething, we will conquer you! or not. but we will try.

We have now successfully made it through seven rounds of teething from the time Levi was four months old… and we have five teeth to show for it.

How does that work, you ask?

Two starts (with an edge poking through and everything) that proceeded to move back up and disappear… only to again come in (to stay) later. For one of those, it came in a week later… For the other, it came through two months down the road after two separate agonizing weeks of drama.

Can we all say “frustrating” together now???

Word.

But now with a few rounds under our belt, I’m a little less intimidated by the teething process… and a little more able to roll with the punches.

Have we mastered it? By no means.

But we can (usually) see it coming now.

The only problem, with my little guy at least, is that it looks a bit different each time. But with some careful observation (and many a prayer under my breath) I’m proud to say that I'm learning the ropes.

It seems with Levi’s bottom teeth – they come in without much pomp and circumstance: maybe a few fussy days and a little interrupted sleep.

And then there’s the top teeth: runny nose and cold, fever, crying at the drop of a hat, too many night wakings to count, loss of appetite, Crankiness with a capital “C”, unusual daytime sleep patterns… and the list goes on. And on.

For whatever reason, it seems Levi’s top teeth cause a lot more drama than the bottom ones. And those rounds of teething are the doozies. The latest for example:

{Poor little bubba. Not only was he miserable… But mama insisted on taking photos of the misery too. What can I say? I was learning how to use our new camera. And for the record, he's better now. I'm not posting about current misery... These photos are from last month.}

As difficult as teething is for everybody, of course I'm so glad that Levi is developing normally - teething and all. (Let's not forget to count our blessings here folks.) 

And now, some of the things I’ve found that help with teething:

1. The perfect teether. I know, sounds like a given, right? But we have this one little blue fish… and I’m telling you, it’s magic. Levi can happily chew on that thing a billion times longer than anything else that could possibly hold his attention at this age. LOVE the fish. (Who knew that $4.95 would equal $1M when it comes to finding the perfect teether?!) If you experiment and offer a few options, then you're bound to find the winner for your little chomper.

2. A cold (frozen) washcloth. Take a clean washcloth, roll it in a tube, tie the ends together, dampen it, and freeze. I guess it’s the combination of the cloth and cold that does the trick.

3. A clean, peeled carrot. It needs to be a big enough carrot so that they can’t bite little pieces off (chocking hazard)… But give bubs a cold carrot to chomp on--and presto--some good, natural relief right there folks. The yummy carrot flavor is a nice little bonus and helps keep bubs interested a bit longer.

4. Mesh feeders with frozen fruit. Levi loves holding and chewing on those little mesh feeders filled with fruit. I pop one in the freezer until it’s semi-frozen and then let him chomp away. (I use it in the highchair – it’s messsssssy! But oh so fun.)

5. Pain reliever drops. I know, duh. (What does mommy want when she has a headache? And why would it be any different for a hurting baby?!) Using a small dose of infant pain reliever does wonders. As long as you follow your doctor’s orders, the instructions on the box, and your mother’s instinct, infant pain reliever will be your friend and help you get through those few long nights. Even better, it will help your precious baby get through those long nights. Let's not forget they they suffer even more than we do.

Dear friends, this list is by no means exhaustive. That would be boring. And pretentious. I’m just listing some of my top tricks so that you can fill in the blanks. What has helped you and your little ones get through teething?

set on conquering,

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2010 
do not reproduce without written permission

waning about weaning (when did you stop breastfeeding?)

I was one of the lucky ones.

Long before having Levi I had decided that I wanted to try breastfeeding. I had done a bit of reading about it and talked to a lot of other moms about their experiences. I would have considered myself pretty well-informed on the subject, and I was very well-prepared for the fact that it might be extremely difficult… and painful. 

Actually, I had heard so many horror stories that I thought there was no way around it.

I thought to myself, “If I can just make it through the first six weeks it will get easier and it will be so worth all of the pain and trouble.” I would prepare for the worst and then grit my teeth with sheer determination until it got easier. (I know, I know. You’re already snickering here… Classic first-time-mom response right?)

And then I gave birth… And tried breastfeeding… And from the first moment it was…

Easy.

Imagine my shock! 

Imagine my relief! 

Imagine my joy!

I know that my experience is not the “norm” unfortunately, but for me breastfeeding was as natural and easy as anyone could ever hope for. (And after my unexpected c-section, I think it was grace to me… I'm not sure if I could have emotionally handled breastfeeding dramas at that point in time.)

And aside from the standard clogged duct here and there (yeah, that’s painful!) it has continued to be easy and hassle-free up until this day.

My plan has always been to breastfeed until Levi is twelve months old so that I wouldn’t need to wean to formula and then over to cow’s milk. I figured that if I could make it to his first birthday then I could easily wean straight over to cow’s milk and that would be that. Easy peasy.

It is now 24 days until Levi's first birthday and I’m faced with decision-time. 

And--although I'm normally an incredibly decisive person--I find myself... waffling on this one.

Do I really want to wean? Is this the right time? If I do, will I regret it? If I don’t will I resent it?

I’ve loved the convenience and ease and experience of breastfeeding and there’s a small part of me that wants to hang on. (Oh, the simplicity when traveling and the unrivaled ability to quickly comfort a sick or teething baby!!!)

And yet there’s another part of me that is more than ready to say good-bye to sharing my body in that way (yes, I sometimes feel like it’s “milking time” at mama’s bar *moooooo*). And I’m also ready for the freedom of not being bound to feeding times. (I still nurse at wake-up and bedtime and 1-2 times during the day… and have never really gotten into the swing of pumping much.) And then there’s the wanting to have my hormonal balance back to normal… for many reasons.

I’ve read what the experts say – there’s really no ideal time to wean… other than when mom and bub are both ready (and when there’s no major changes or sickness happening).

So the question is, am I ready? Is Levi ready?

Never mind cultural norms. Never mind convenience. Never mind what I thought I “should” do. Never mind age or months or measured out food.

Are we ready? And if we are, then how long do I give us to go through the process? A week? A month? A couple of months?

I’m not expecting anyone to answer these questions for me. It’s our decision, it’s personal, and I’m more than comfortable with that.

But what I am wondering is how you experienced weaning? Did you lead? Did you let your baby lead? Was it a combination? What it for medical reasons or going back to work reasons or emotional reasons?

Did you just know when it was time?

Would you go back and do it differently if you could?

Dear friends, I’d love to hear your experiences with weaning? Did you waiver a little like me? Or was it a cut-and-dry decision for you?

waning just a little,

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2010 
do not reproduce without written permission

perhaps i should clothe my child more often?

We had some friends over for a mommy/baby play date the other day. It was fun watching the kids play together while my sweet friend and I caught up.

It wasn't until after our friends were gone and I was looking through the few photos that I snapped, when I realized that I hadn't even put Levi in clothes that day.

As usual, there he was in just his diaper with his rolly-polly tummy perched on top.

Yes, near-nudey baby was on a date with a well-dressed older woman.

{is she trying to hand him a sock here? i wouldn't be surprised.}

On another note, why is my child the same size as a girl five months his senior?

Dear friends, aren't you grateful for friends that you don't have to try and impress? 

relaxed, secure, and grateful,

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2010 
do not reproduce without written permission

bare baby bums

One of the things I love about babyhood is those cheeks… those chubby little bum cheeks.

It’s an age of innocence, an age where the sight of nudity doesn’t lift an eyebrow but it does lift a spirit.

Cuz really, how can you not get a smile on your dial when faced with glimpses like this:

And this:

And this:

One of my favorite things about being in Hawaii was being at the beach in the late afternoon when the sun was no longer scorching and dangerous… and being able to just enjoy the warm rays on our cheeks.

Levi’s especially.

Dear friends, isn’t it so fun to watch the littlies play without the restrictions of clothing?

bumming around,

  Have you registered your blog here yet?

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2010 
do not reproduce without written permission

who are you missing?

Do you have friends that live far away that you just wish lived closer?

We got to visit some friends that fit in that category while we were in Sydney recently.

Although they have a couple of kids older than Levi, they do have a little cherub that is just two weeks older than him.

Introducing Ashley:

Isn't she just gorgeous?

It was so fun to see the kids playing together.

They were a little more interested in each other than the last time around:

{10 weeks old with levi's nan and ashley's brother will.}

Yes, our little 10-month-olds were a sight to be seen.

Two adorable peas in a pod really.

Does it get any more precious than this?

Seriously. {sigh}

Dear friends, who are you missing lately?

loving the littlies,

p.s. Just a little FYI... while I'm on holidays I may not have much time to visit and comment on blogs... So if you hear from me a little less, that's why. But that doesn't mean I'm not still reading them in my reader! :)

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2010 
do not reproduce without written permission

how is it?

Wasn’t it just yesterday that my sweet little boy couldn’t even hold his head up on his own or roll himself over?

So how is it that today he is riding a bicycle?

And nearly walking on his own?

And playing the drums?

And jumping waves?

And taking long strolls on the beach?

And wrestling with daddy?

And crash-tackling cousin Jackson?

And taking rides on my shoulders?

And waving bye-bye?

And sitting on big boy swings?

And getting cuter and cuter... and more hilarious by the day?

Dear friends, what is your child doing lately that surprises you?

loving it all,

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2010 
do not reproduce without written permission