i'm a woman in love... with sleep.

I can’t remember when I first fell in love with sleep, but I definitely remember sleeping in until noon on the weekends as a teenager.

I also remember sleeping in until 10:30am on the weekends during my twenties.

And in my thirties I now spend time “dreaming” about sleep.

I have dreamt of sleep while tossing and turning in bed at 2:00am with pregnancy insomnia. I’ve dreamt of sleep while nursing my newborn at 3:00am. I’ve dreamt of sleep while rushing like a madwoman to get things done at 11:00am during my baby’s nap times. And I’ve dreamt of sleep (“just one more hour”) while lying in bed awake at 7:00am listening to my chatterbox toddler in the room next door.

I still love sleep. I probably always will. Always a night person, never one to enjoy the getting-out-of-bed process in the morning…

But these days I also get a lot of joy and satisfaction from seeing others sleep.

Again, behold:

In my opinion, that's an eyeful worth looking at twice.

How can you not love a sight like that? Father and son sharing an afternoon snooze. If I weren’t so busy adoring I just might be jealous.

Sleep, glorious sleep.

Dear friends, how’s your sleep life lately?

sleepy,

Current giveaways: Two Peekabooby nursing covers and one copy of The Pregnancy Companion (book).

Pregnant Blogger? Join in with the Bloggin' Babes & Babies of 2011 (a link-up for expecting mamas).

linking in with faith:

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2011
do not reproduce without written permission

10 simple ways to lend a hand to stranded moms

"auntie" katie - my sanity while ryan was away.

Recently my husband was away on a work trip for nearly four weeks. It was not easy. During that time there were several things I was wishing for… and while it’s still fresh in my mind I wanted to share with you ten ways to help a mom who's going at it alone.

1.  Invite her over for dinner. Cooking dinner for one adult after a long day of taking care of kids can seem pointless. Spare your friend from having one too many grilled cheese sandwiches and bowls of cereal for dinner and invite her over for a meal. Do it early enough in the evening to not interfere with kids’ bedtimes.

2.  Even better, bring dinner over to her house. Either drop it off, or stay for a quick bite. Either way your friend will thank you.

3.  Mow her lawn. The last thing a busy mom can find time to do is mow the lawn. And besides, when will she be able to do it without little kids underfoot? At naptime? Nope! Not unless she wants a grumpy toddler on her hands after he wakes up prematurely from all the noise. Don’t offer, just show up and do it (unless you aren’t sure when naptimes are then, for heaven’s sake, definitely ask!).

4.  Take her kids for an afternoon play date. Don’t invite mom along, just give her some time to herself. Whether she has some errands to do or just wants to do nothing, the gift of a few hours sans kids will be a welcome blessing.

5.  Call her if you’re headed to the store to see if she needs anything picked up. Often mid-week she'll have one or two things needed from the store (milk!) that hubs would normally be able to quickly pick up on his way home from work. But with him away, a quick 10-minute errand can take a good 45-minutes out of mom’s day. Spare her!

6.  Wash her car. Though not a necessity, having a clean car can help bring peace of mind, and yet it often makes its way to the bottom of the priority list. Grab your own kiddos (or hers) and wash her car for her. Either that or ask to swap cars for an hour and take hers somewhere to have it cleaned.

7.  Offer to babysit one evening, or arrange a trusted sitter for her. See if she’d like to have a night to go out with the girls while hubs is away without having to scramble to find a sitter.

8.  Bring over some snacks and a chick flick for a girls night in. After days and days of being the on-duty parent 24/7 she may not have the energy to go out, but would love a little company and wind-down time in the comfort of her own home.

9.  Call once or twice a week just to see how things are going and if there’s anything you can do. Chances are things are going okay and your friend may say there’s nothing she needs help with, but just giving her that opportunity speaks volumes about how much you care.

10.  Help her clean her house before hubs gets home. Offer to come over the day before he arrives and lend a hand wherever she needs it.

And a BONUS tip:

If her husband is away over a holiday, then go out of your way to make it special for her. Christmas, Easter, Valentines Day, etc… but especially if it’s over her birthday or Mothers Day when she is meant to be queen for the day! Help ease the blow of missing her hubs by going the extra mile and sending her out with a gift card for a coffee and a new book or magazine to relax with while you stay home with her kids and clean her house! And then let her come home and play with her kids while you stay a bit longer and make them all a nice dinner (or order them take-out).

In saying all of this, your friend may be supermom and not need any help at all… but I doubt it. (Especially if she's used to having a partner around.) If that is the case she will be glad for your initiative and your availability even if she doesn’t take you up on any of your offers.

The most important rule of thumb is: INITIATE. Don’t wait for her to ask… ask her first! Make her feel valued and cared for and supported while she’s going at it alone.

Dear friends, have you had your partner away for any period of time more than a couple of days? What is something that would have been a blessing to you while you were solo parenting?

glad that my solo days are over for now,

Current giveaways: Two Peekabooby nursing covers and one copy of The Pregnancy Companion (book).

Pregnant Blogger? Join in with the Bloggin' Babes & Babies of 2011 (a link-up for expecting mamas).

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2011
do not reproduce without written permission

the strange, the ordinary, and the divine

One of the perks of living in Australia is having strange and unusual friends...

Today is Mothers Day. Well, for me it is anyway. Since Ryan was was still overseas last weekend he decided to wake me up with a beautiful breakfast and a thoughtful pressie this morning. I was okay with that.

And then we went to visit some of our friends at the billabong down the road.

At times Levi couldn't be bothered. After all, there were sticks everywhere to play with...

...and what fun are koalas when they just sit there in trees looking cute? (Boring mom!)

Birds on the other hand... birds are on the move and fast and fascinating.

And of course the "dogs" are awesome. And these "dogs" even have really long tails and huge, funny feet. Oh, and they bounce around a lot... in between their lazy episodes of sunbathing. (Weird, but cool mom!)

Isn't it strange how becoming a mom changes things? Like how a great day for me is now one where I see my family enjoying themselves. Soaking in the warm sun. Glimpsing blue sky between the rustling gum trees. Minutes morphing into hours while chasing ducks, picking up sticks, and seeing life through the eyes of a very, very small and curious person.

Because to a very, very small and curious person... the world looks large and grande and full and... friendly. And I really like seeing it that way.

Through those eyes scary things don't look threatening... they just look amazing. (Even more amazing than on the pages of our storybooks.) And I like seeing it that way, too.

I reckon that sun on your back, dust on your feet, and a child on your shoulders (or in your belly) just make the world feel a little bit more right.

But of course kids will be kids... and even on a made-up Mothers Day they still don't "pose" for photos.

But that's ok. Because each little glance, each expression, each mid-sentance hand gesture frozen on film... all bring a sense of normalcy.

And that normalcy does nothing to detract from the divine gift of an animated and spirited child who doesn't yet know how to say "I love you mama." But I know. I know I am loved... in the ordinary moments as well as the extraordinary ones.

So this Mothers Day we come home and place our shoes by the door. Some of us go for naps while others fold laundry. The sun continues to sink on an extraordinarily ordinary, beautifully unusual, simply wonderful normal day. And I count my blessings, the best of which are the man and the boys who have made me a mom.

For this mom... on a Sunday... in May... with my boys (all three of them)... the world is a very good place.

Knowing that this is my current reality makes me a very happy, happy woman indeed.

Dear friends, how have you seen the divine in the ordinary this week?

glad to be a mama,



Current giveaways: Two Peekabooby nursing covers and one copy of The Pregnancy Companion (book).

Pregnant Blogger? Join in with the Bloggin' Babes & Babies of 2011 (a link-up for expecting mamas).

Linking in with Chelsea for her "friends" theme:

Being deliberate about resting, refreshing, and enjoying family:

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2011
do not reproduce without written permission

mothers day for those who have lost or are longing

For me, Mothers Day is sweet. But for many, I know it is bittersweet.

For mamas who have lost a child – born or unborn…

For women who have yearned for a child and have been unable to conceive…

For single women who long to be married and start a family yet remain waiting…

For those wanting to adopt who haven’t yet been able to see that dream become reality…

For those who needed to let someone else care for their child and had to say goodbye...

For single moms of young kids who are too young to know how to appreciate mommy as she deserves…

For moms serving in the military who are deployed and far away from their babies…

For moms of teenagers who have pushed away from them...

{And}

For those who never knew their mother…

For those who have had a mother walk out on them...

For those who had a mother who was there but not there...

For those who have lost a mother…

For those who have lost a grandmother…

For those who have lost a mother-figure...

To you, I want to say Happy Mothers Day as well.

May you be comforted in your loss or in your longing. May your eyes be opened to those you have “mothered” through your love and care and nurturing, whether you have children of your own or not. And may you be filled with sweet memories of the special women in your own life who are as mothers to you, even if your own is gone.

Mothers Day is not just a day for moms; it’s a day for women.

Mothers and mother figures everywhere are deserving of our honor. You are appreciated... and I sincerely hope there's someone in your life to help you know it.

I want your Mothers Day to be sweet as well. Because you make our future, and our children's future, better.

Little hands applaud you.

Dear friends, have you ever thought about mamas and women who are hurting on Mothers Day? Newsflash: not all are getting pampered with breakfast in bed and a day of no chores. How can you reach out to one today?

in support of women everywhere,

Bloggers for Birth Kits update: 210 kits donated, 34 posts spreading the word, more than 192 links on facebook (I lost track after that!), and tons of #B4BirthKits tweets. Yay! (I can't wait for our accounts office to open back up on Monday so we can get a new count!) Thank you for lending your heart and voice and resources to this important cause for mums & bubs in developing nations.

GIVEAWAY OPEN NOW: Enter to win The Pregnancy Companion - a wonderful book for expecting moms, whether you are one yourself or know someone that would appreciate this encouraging and practical gift! Entry is quick and simple. Click here.

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2011
do not reproduce without written permission

my mama

I write about being a mom all the time... so this Mothers Day I want to write about having a mom.

This is mine:

{and levi made her a grandma... gigi to be precise.}

I love her.

She held me when I needed to be held.

She helped me to stand and always celebrated my growth.

She showed me what it looks like to be a stylish woman. (Check out those awesome shades!)

She kept me warm through Oregon winters.

She took me overseas to far-away places and helped me to discover the world.

{here we are on a short stint living in fiji.}

She taught me what it means to be beautiful on the inside and out.

She played with me and gave me hugs when I needed them.

She's always loved me and stood behind me.

I also love this mum - my Australian mother-in-law Sylvia. She's the one who gave me my beloved. I couldn't be more grateful.

How in the world I got so lucky to have two amazing women in my life to call mom I will never know. But this Mothers Day it's my privilege to honor them and say thank you for being who you are: mom and mum.

Dear friends, what's the best thing about your own mom? And, if you're a mom yourself, I hope you have an amazing day celebrating with your family and friends.

love,


P.S. Check out Amy's My Mama, Your Mama feature for Mothers Day. So precious.

Bloggers for Birth Kits update: 210 kits donated, 33 posts spreading the word, 192 links on facebook, and tons of #B4BirthKits tweets. Yay! (I can't wait for our accounts office to open back up on Monday so we can get a new count!!)

GIVEAWAY OPEN NOW: Enter to win the Pregnancy Companion - a wonderful book for expecting moms, whether you are one yourself or know someone that would appreciate this encouraging and practical gift! Entry is quick and simple. Click here.

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2011
 do not reproduce without written permission

give a mama LIFE this mothers day {my first vlog}

LADIES. You know it, I know it... it's Mothers Day is this weekend!!

This is only my second Mothers Day, I'm now pregnant with our second child, and I love my own mama so much... it's all got me thinking. Really thinking.

me (a few years ago) with my beautiful mama, grandma, and great-grandma

I love motherhood and would wish it upon any woman who desires it. I love hearing stories of healthy mamas and sweet, little healthy babies.

But we're not all that lucky.

In developing nations we still have huge issues with maternal and infant mortality. In fact, in rural Papua New Guinea 1 in 7 women die in childbirth.

I know, shocking. Right?

It's because of this that Bloggers for Birth Kits was born.

Why not consider making or sponsoring a birth kit for a woman in a developing nation this Mothers Day? (A $10 donation sponsors five kits!) Do it on behalf of your mom. Do it on behalf of Granny. Do it for your daughters. Do it for yourself.

There are several ways you can get involved. They're all detailed here.

If you want to hear me say hello, I've made my first vlog explaining things. Listen to the intro story if you'd like... or fast-forward to the middle to see step-by-step instructions for making your own birth kit. Please feel free to repost this video on your own blog or facebook (or send it through email) and help spread the word. I really do believe that our collective voice can make a difference!





Pssst, dear friends... things are getting really exciting around here! In 24 hours we've already had 8 other bloggers post about Bloggers for Birth Kits, 26 kits sponsored, and the tweets (#B4BirthKits) have started to roll in. Way to go bloggers!! Have you joined in yet? How about a creative and charitable Mothers Day gift for your mama?? (Details here.)


Update May 10, 2011: In six days we've had 637 kits donated/sponsored, 36 blog posts, lots and lots of links on facebook (I lost track at 200+), and tons of tweets. Well done ladies (and gentlemen)! You ARE making a difference by giving and by spreading the word about this important issue.

excited about giving life,


P.S. Nearly a year after the Memos was born... I finally started a facebook fan page. "Like" the Memos here... if you'd like! :)

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2011
do not reproduce without written permission

going at it alone

Since becoming a mom, I have never had more respect or admiration for single moms and military wives. How these women manage to parent their children, run their households, earn a reasonable income (especially in the case of single moms), and maintain their sanity and well-being without the support of a loving husband is beyond me.

I'm completely baffled.

Obviously, the grace is there. Obviously there is a strength in women that lurks below the sometimes seemingly vulnerable surface. And obviously we are capable of far more than we often give ourselves credit for.

That being said--as much as I admire and respect these women who are going at it alone (all or most of the time)--I never want to join their ranks.

Being a mom on your own is hard. H.A.R.D.

despite missing ryan, levi and i had a
lovely easter together with friends

I've just passed the half-way mark of Ryan being away for nearly a month. I was glad to see him board a plane to Papua New Guinea where he would join teams of volunteer medical and aid workers on our organization's Medical Ship. Knowing that he's helping bring services and education to those who need it most is wonderful and satisfying. I whole-heartedly believe that it's a privilege to be able to serve others in this way, and if it weren't for the malaria risks associated with pregnancy (potential miscarriage or stillbirth to unborn babies), Levi and I would be right there along with him.

So yes, we are glad--and proud--to have Ryan away representing our family like this.

But I'd be joking if I said that having my husband sail up rivers into remote areas and villages of PNG is all fun and games. It's not.

Not for him... or for me.

To serve is always a sacrifice which must be weighed. It looks different for those who are going as well as those who are left behind. And for us, the sacrifices associated with this outreach are worth it.

photo source: ywam medical ship

But the fact remains that it's hard going at it alone.

Levi and I are doing fine. Of course we miss Ryan terribly--our incredibly kind-hearted husband and hands-on dad--but we will see him soon enough.

In the meantime, I'm seeing how tough I am and how resourceful I can be. I'm having a small taste of a new kind of perseverance and learning a tiny bit about life for the women who are my heros:

Single moms and military wives.

Seriously, these women should all be given medals.

Being a mom is an incredible joy and honor that I would wish for anyone who desires to be one. But it's also a tough gig in the best of times. And it's even tougher when your support system is stripped back to the minimum.

Recently a friend of mine asked me why I thought it was such a big deal to have my husband gone for a month. "What's so hard about it?" she earnestly asked me.

I almost fell off my chair. (Especially considering she is a mom herself.)

I guess we each have different standards and measuring sticks to determine what is difficult and what is not... and I'm ok with that. No need to get into comparisons. But let's just say I have a million answers to that question. In fact, I'd be tempted to ask the question in return: "What's not hard about having my husband away for so long?!"

But I knew she meant well and was just trying to lend a listening ear.

Like I said, Levi and I (and bubs) are doing well. (I can certainly feel the grace factor!) But that doesn't mean we aren't counting down the days until our family is reunited.

In the meantime, single moms and military wives - I salute you! You are amazing and your children should be so proud of you. (Same goes for single dads and military husbands.)

Dear friends, have you ever had a time where you've been a mom going at it alone? Maybe for a long time or maybe just for a "short" time like me? What did you find the hardest and how did you cope?

glad to usually not be alone,


P.S. Do you have any friends who are single moms or military wives? When is the last time you offered some form of support to them or told them how much you admire all they do for their families?

Are you an expecting mom? Have you linked-up yet?

Join the Bloggin' Babes and Babies of 2011.

{"Easter" with Casey}

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2011
do not reproduce without written permission

enough is enough

How do you make room in your life for baby number two?

As much as I feel my heart is big enough for another child, I sometimes feel as if my head is not. (Not to mention my energy supply.)

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about our new baby and how carrying her* is so much different to carrying our first.

{24 weeks pregnant with baby #1}

When I was pregnant with Levi, so much of my little internal world revolved around thoughts of him, thoughts of impending motherhood, thoughts of how our world was turning upside-down.

And yet with the new baby it is so different. So much of my headspace is already taken up with thoughts of how to care for Levi: How can I get him to eat his veggies? Is it possible to make him sleep in a little longer in the mornings? (9:00am would be good *wink*.) When should I start potty training him or moving him from a crib to a bed? How do I discipline well and how do I keep my cool when he’s having a tantrum? How will I take care of him while meeting the demands of a newborn?

So many thoughts and questions… and so often pointing back to him.

And then I feel guilty. Guilty that I think of him far more than I think of my new baby. Or, more accurately, that I don't think of my new baby the same way I thought of Levi throughout my first pregnancy.

I feel like perhaps I should be more aware of my pregnancy… more in tune with my growing baby… more something.

And yet I know that baby is tucked up in my womb receiving everything from me that he* needs, and at the same time God is forming and fashioning him to be the person who he is and will be. It’s all happening just right, just perfectly, despite where my headspace is during the whole process.

I know there will come a time when she* is my arms and I will struggle with guilt in the same way related to Levi. I will be breastfeeding her around the clock, changing her diapers a thousand times more than Levi’s, ooo-ing over her little infant milestones like her first smile, holding her head up, and rolling over… while Levi, no doubt, will be vying for some of his old attention back.

It will be a tension to work out then, but it is not one to worry about now.

And I guess parenting is like that. Being a mom is like that.

There will always be a tension between all that I desire to do and the reality of what I actually can do.

I will never think of my babies enough, pray for them enough, nurture them enough, train and teach and coach them enough, listen to them enough, spend time with them enough.

But this I know – I will always love them enough. My love will be as deep and as wide as is humanly possible from a dedicated—yet imperfect—parent. And where I fall short there will be others there to fill in the gaps: their daddy, extended family, dear friends, even God himself.

And that is what gives me comfort when I have those “I will never be enough” thoughts.

Because the amount of my headspace taken up by thoughts of my new baby is no indication of how I feel about him*. As simplistic as it sounds, it really is just a casualty of a very busy, very emotionally and physically draining, and very intense (yet still precious and fun!) season of life that I'm already in as a new(ish) mom of a toddler.

My new baby is loved, incredibly loved, and that—combined with my commitment to parent to the best of my ability—is enough.

Dear friends, do you ever feel like your ‘enough’ isn’t enough? If so, what do you do to tame the negative, guilt-ridden thoughts running through your mind?

loving my babies, parenting as best i can, and believing it's enough,

*Since I don't yet know the gender of baby #2 (and since I don't like to call him/her "it") I have alternated between masculine and feminine pronouns by paragraph. Hopefully it's not too confusing.

Are you an expecting mom? Have you linked-up yet?

Join the Bloggin' Babes and Babies of 2011.

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2011
do not reproduce without written permission

i'm a bona-fide mom now... with a membership card to prove it

Today I felt like such a mom. Not just because I have given birth and am carrying my second child... but because I did a thing that (in my mind) only moms do:

I bought a year's membership to our local aquarium.

The membership was a whopping five dollars more than the day pass, so I decided to "splurge" and lay down the $29.50 for endless trips to the Great Barrier Reef Aquarium for boy wonder and I.

How I didn't know about this steal-of-a-deal before, I have no idea.

But for the next year I know where I will be on scorching hot days (in search of air conditioning) and on rainy days (in search of sanity with my stir-crazy toddler):

I'll be checking out the sharkies and fishies, turtles and crabs with my favorite little dude.

Levi loved it. I loved it. My visiting friend from North America loved it.

And it gets even better.

This weekend they are opening up a whole new children's wing with a ton of interactive stuff and several "touch and feel" pools. A munchkin paradise.

No doubt this kid will be in awe.

Can't wait for our next visit.

Dear friends, what have you done lately that's made you well and truly feel like MOM?

happy to join the ranks of card-carrying moms everywhere,

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Are you pregnant? Link up with the Bloggin' Babes and Babies of 2011.

Share your creativity and Easter inspiration by submitting your Easter card to our Easter card linky (closing April 21).

I know I'm not in jammies... but it's not all that often than I'm in photos with Levi so I wanted to jump at the chance to join in and support Casey's "Momma in Focus" meme.... cuz I just really like Casey and think she has a great thing going. So, here I am (minus the jammies) - just me with my boy! (And Casey - I'll to try and get my face in one next time! No promises... but I'll try! *wink+grin*)

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2011
do not reproduce without written permission

reclaiming sundays... carefree and clothes free

Sometimes life feels like a runaway train and it takes everything from within to make a stand for slowing things down.

Raising kids is like that.

Regardless of jobs and deadlines and finances and responsibilities, just being a parent seems to propel life into fast forward. With each new milestone, developmental leap, and growth spurt the passing of time is amplified.

And so is the challenge of slowing things down, which is why I'm thrilled to say that our last few Sundays have looked a lot like this:

Sun, grass, a cheap wading pool, a garden hose, tall glasses of ice water, thrown together plates of cheese and cracker snacks, sticky, juicy orange slices, lounge chairs, sunscreen, floppy hats, a well-loved swing set, and sweet, mellow playlists providing the perfect soundtrack to the unfolding joy.

They have been lazy; they have been perfect.

No one straining to finish a project. No one sweating to cross things off the list. No one stressing to get one last errand in before the shops close.

Just resting, refreshing, relishing, enjoying.

But one of the best things about this time--these days--of our lives is this:

Little boys with bare naked bums.

I know if I'm not careful I'll blink and Levi will be too grown-up to run around the backyard naked without a care in the world.

So for now, we're savoring these days. Carefree and clothes free.

Life is good.

Dear friends, what are you savoring these days?


love,

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Are you pregnant? Link up with the Bloggin' Babes and Babies of 2011.

Share your creativity and Easter inspiration by submitting your Easter card to our Easter card linky (closing April 21).

This post is part of my Reclaiming Sundays project - an intentional effort to carve out family time every week to rest, refresh, breathe, laugh, relax, enjoy... Please feel free to join me if you'd like.

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2011
do not reproduce without written permission