baby steps to becoming a better mom

I remember being single and looking at my stay-at-home-mom friends wondering what in the world they did all day long. I assumed they watched Ellen and Oprah {yeah, I could handle that!}, worked on their tan in the back yard while the kids were napping {yes please!}, browsed through lots of magazines {fun!}, and went shopping a lot {bring it!}.

And then I became a stay-at-home-mom for myself.

Now by the time I was married and on my way to babyville, I did know it wasn’t going to be exactly like the above description. {grin} By then I knew stay-at-home-moms worked very hard. (I had seen enough Oprah episodes myself to know that.) I knew they were often tired and often very busy. But the extent of it?

No idea.

So now, as a stay-at-home-mom by choice for the last six months, I’ve had enough time for reality to well and truly sink in.

You see, I never wanted to sit around all day and just watch TV… but I did think that being home would afford me the chance to do some of the things I didn’t have time for when working full-time... I was going to dust off my guitar and write a bit of music. I was going to work on that book. I was going to take a million photos of my baby and learn about digital photo editing. Oh yeah, and I was going to become a domestic goddess – immaculate house, yummy meals served up regularly, and maybe even some baking now and then.

Don’t worry, I’ve been grounded since those initial aspirations.

In fact, in the last six months I’ve managed to not do any of those things (aside from taking a million photos of my baby of course… there’s always time for that – duh).

At first I thought it was just because life with a newborn is crazy and tiring (everyone tells you that). But then my newborn was no longer a newborn so I couldn’t use that excuse any more. And then of course there were the sleep problems, the teething, the growth spurts, the developmental leaps, and the dreaded nap times… There has been one challenge after another on the new-mommy-learning-curve!

And more and more I am realizing that, although I will get used to this, the moment I do it will change again. I can’t keep waiting for things to get “right” before I start to really pursue the things that are on my heart.

{And no, I’ve not started that book yet… or picked up my guitar.}

But I have made some little goals all over again.

In some ways I’ve never been much of a goal-setter because I love to make things up as I go along, and yet I am a list person for sure. {Mostly because I love to cross things off!} In light of that I decided to make a list of things that would help me take care of myself… so I can actually work my way up to that day where I’m able to take more on again. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ve got to be really deliberate, perhaps more than ever.

I know I’m not alone in this… Back to Oprah. Just how many episodes have you seen about the necessity of moms taking time out for themselves? Obviously it’s an issue! And it’s a lesson I really want to learn early on in motherhood… because I figure that if I get things right in laying the foundations, then it will be something I can continue to nurture and grow in as I move forward.

So, here are my little goals… my “baby steps” that I believe will help me in becoming a better mom:

• Taking my vitamins every day. {Amazing what a difference this can make.}
• Eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner. {I tend to skip meals on accident when I get busy.}
• Trying to eat healthy morning and afternoon snacks each day. {To help keep my energy levels up.}
• Showering and being ready for the day before my son’s morning naptime. {Sometimes hard to pull off but feels soooo good and actually helps me move “quicker” throughout the rest of the day.}
• Spending a few minutes in prayer and meditating on scripture each day. {Taking care of my soul and spirit.}
• Reading for pleasure fifteen minutes a day. {Baby books and websites don’t count!}
• Spending time outside. {Even if just a short walk around the neighbourhood or sitting on our front steps.}

Ta-da! That’s my list… my baby steps to becoming a better mom. They seem like such basic things—they are such basic things—and yet even in my short journey as a mom I’ve found that I can get so consumed with taking care of my son that the “basic” things in my own life can easily be left neglected.

Not any more!

I’ve put my “baby steps” list is on the fridge with a little check list and I’m charting my progress. {You’d think we were potty training here… maybe I should give myself a reward for stars accumulated??} I’m determined to do what I need to do to get better at taking care of myself, even if that does mean being accountable to a check list on my fridge (and my husband’s caring and watchful eye).  Because really, I know that taking better care of myself will not only help me to thrive, but it will also ultimately help me to better take care of my family too. And everyone loves a win-win.

Dear mommy friends, my list is so basic, and there are plenty of other things I’d like to add to it… but I needed to start with “baby steps” (even if it does feel a little humbling to admit). What about you? What’s on your “list”? What do you do to take care of yourself?

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