every woman needs a pregnancy companion

[GIVEAWAY CLOSED and comments are now disabled for this post.]

On Monday it will be my one-year blogaversary of the Memos. I’m so grateful for what’s unfolded over the course of one short year… but more about that on Monday.

For today I’ve got some very exciting news...

In celebration of my blogaversary and Mothers Day this weekend, I am offering an exciting give-away!

Although I plan to do a more comprehensive review next month, I wanted to let you know about this fabulous book on Mothers Day weekend while your mind is already on all things mom-related: The Pregnancy Companion.

The Pregnancy Companion is a faith-based pregnancy book co-written by Jessica Wolstenholm and Dr. Heather Rupe (OB/GYN) where they seamlessly bring medicine and faith together to help women navigate not only the physical aspects of pregnancy, but also the emotional, psychological, and spiritual aspects of life as an expecting mom.

Think of it as a trusted girlfriend’s advice and your doctor’s recommendations all rolled up into one fabulous package.

I first met Jessica when she began following the Memos and was thrilled to eventually learn of her book release. When her publishers offered me a copy to review and the opportunity to do a give-away for my readers, I immediately said yes. I don’t do many reviews and giveaways on the Memos, but this one fit too well to decline.

Originally I planned on reading through the entire book before agreeing to do a give-away. I wanted to make sure it was something I would be able to personally recommend. But now—half-way through—I’m already recommending it to all the pregnant women I know and trying not to race through it too fast so that I can soak it all in. I thought that was a good enough reason to get a jump-start and recommend it to you now.

The Pregnancy Companion is perfect for expecting first-time moms, moms of subsequent pregnancies, and even women who are trying to conceive (including a section for pre-conception). It also includes Jessica's experience with multiple miscarriages and loss, as well as her difficulty conceiving. There is something in this book for every woman who is—or longs to be—pregnant. 


Win it for yourself or to give as a baby shower gift. (Warning: doing so might make you walk away with the “Best Gift Giver of the Shower” title.)

There are several ways you can enter. Choose one or all of the following:

1. Minimum entry: Leave a comment! It's that easy. No mandatory follow required. :)

Additional entries:

1. Follow the Memos through GFC or RSS or email subscription. (See links on the sidebar.)
2. “Like” the Memos on our new facebook fan page.
3. Follow the Pregnancy Companion blog (Please do! You won’t be disappointed with Jessica and Dr. Rupe’s fabulous articles.)
4. “Like” the Pregnancy Companion on facebook. 
5. Blog about this give-away. (Make sure to leave me the link in a comment so I can visit.)
6. Tweet about this give-away, including my twitter handle (@mommyhoodmemos) and the Pregnancy Companion’s handle (@pregnancypal) up to once per day. (Make sure to leave a comment here telling me that you've tweeted to count as your entry.)

For each of the above entries, you MUST leave a separate comment. I will choose the winner randomly from within the comments, so if you only leave one comment saying you’ve done four of the above, it will only count as one entry. Otherwise, I will get lost in the numbers - blech!

Giveaway closes on May 20, 2011. I will announce the winner the following week.

Please note: I was given a book for this review and give-away but all opinions expressed are genuine and my own. I will be posting another, more comprehensive review next month and giving away two more copies of the book. So if you don’t win the first time around, you will have another chance soon!

Dear friends, I wish every one of you could get your hands on a copy of this excellent book – both an insightful and practical resource as well as an encouragement and inspiration. Good luck!

loving my pregnancy companion,

P.S. Thank you for your amazing response to Bloggers for Birth Kits. In six days we're up to 632 kits donated, 35 blog posts spreading the word, over 200 links shared on facebook (I lost count!), and tons of tweets (#B4BirthKits). I'm blown away by your response. I even woke up to an email this morning from a friend saying he had purchased www.BloggersForBirthKits.com for me and forwarded it to my post. Talk about legit! Again, THANK YOU for donating, for promoting such an important cause, and for helping to save the lives of mums and bubs in Papua New Guinea. If you haven't yet, it’s not too late to get involved. The details are here.





Are you an expecting mama? Link up with the Bloggin' Babes and Babies of 2011 here.

Hooray! This week we're...

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2011
do not reproduce without written permission

mom hat, student hat: important tips for studying moms

By Queenie, author of The Planet Pink

{This post is part of the Moms Who Work series.}

{queenie with her hubs and all four princesses}

When I decided about 6 months ago that I wanted to get my certification at a childbirth educator, I didn't really fully consider the implications behind that.  My 10 year college reunion is this fall, so it's been a LONG time since I was in school and I have zero experience with being in school while managing a house full of kids.  So when the stack of books arrived in the mail that first day, I sorta freaked out.  I sat and stared at them for a full month before deciding what to do.

But recently I've started easing myself into a rhythm.  It's not fool proof and I still need to do some tweaking.  I'm not getting as much study time during the day as I'd like yet.  But I'm getting closer.  And there are a few things I've discovered along the way that I think will help make my life as a student easier, and hopefully yours too.

1.  Get a calendar, and USE IT.  There is no earthly way you will be able to keep track of all the assignments, tests and projects assigned to you in the midst of keeping track of when to pay bills, helping kids with homework, making grocery lists and other random household tasks that fall under your domain.  You might think that there's no way you'd forget that major term paper, but have you ever had life sneak up on you?  Yeah, it'll do just that.  You'll wake up one morning and realize you have one day to get it written.  And that's not going to be a good day for mama or anyone else in mama's family.  Which brings me to #2....

2.  Schedule yourself.  No, it's not always fun to be a slave to a schedule, but being a student is just a season in your life and I promise it will be easier if you give in to a little structure for awhile.  If you've got a test looming or a paper to write, spread out the preparation over time, give yourself plenty of time to fit it all in.  Schedule out a few weeks in advance so you can see how to fit in life in the midst of school.  And definitely make sure to allow some time in that schedule to just breathe.

3.  Get hubby and the kids on board.  This is a family effort, sending mama to school.  The kids need to understand how important this is - it's a Big Deal!  They learn that by seeing daddy help out during the day, doing chores, running errands, picking up slack.  If they see daddy go out of his way to make life easier for mama while she's studying, then maybe (hopefully!) the kids will too.

4.  Be proud of your accomplishments!  Like I said, it's a Big Deal for mama to go to school, whether you're going back for a second degree or trying to finish off your first.  You should be proud of your efforts because it's hard work.  We all know that parenting doesn't end when the kids go to bed.  Regardless of tests or papers hanging over your head, there will still be laundry to do and meals to plan.  It is no small feat, so as you drag your worn out body to bed, be proud of what you managed to do that day, even if it was just get the kids out the door to school.  There's always tomorrow.

Bottom line, going to school and being a mama at the same time is a tough job.  And if you happen to have an out of the home job on top of all that, my hat is off to you!  Do your best, work hard, be proud of your accomplishments and cut yourself slack when necessary.  The time will pass whether you push yourself or not, and in the long run I think you'll be much happier to look back on this time and know that you've done all you can do.

Happy studying!

Bio: When Queenie is not busy changing diapers and planning meals for her crew of 4 princesses, she can be found sneaking in study breaks and reading up on all things related to childbirth.  She calls The Planet Pink her home on the web, where she chronicles her life as mama, wife and someone slightly obsessed with coffee.  She lives Somewhere in the Middle with her hubs, 4 princesses and her only boy, a pug named Max.

Further reading in this series:

• All moms work hard 
• How to be a stay-at-home mom without losing your marbles 
• Mom on a wire: finding balance and sanity in a home with two working parents
• You have spoken: the best and worst of being a working mom (away from home)
• How I became a pediatrician turned stay-at-home mom
• The pros and cons of being a work-from-home mom
• From home to work or work to home: speaking up about the transition process
• Back to work: tips for how to prepare for the transition after maternity leave
• Are stay-at-home moms 1950ish? (readers speak up about the best and worst of being a SAHM)
• 4 ways single moms are thriving 
• 8 tips for running a business as a work-from-home mom 

Dear mommy-friends, are you a studying mom? If so, I salute you! It's no small task to balance motherhood with student life. How are you coping? And what do you do to thrive in your many roles? Which of Queenie's tips do you need to take to heart for this season?

in awe of moms who study,

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2010 
do not reproduce without written permission

hey you, pregnant lady! these tips and tricks are for you. (part 2 of 2)

Like I said yesterday, I’d never actually say “hey you, pregnant lady!” in real life… but somehow, on the computer screen it works. (Well, in my mind at least.)

But if you’re pregnant, and especially if you’re pregnant for the first time, I’m writing this post for you! Hopefully I got your attention.

If you missed part 1 of this post, you can read it here.

And now, for the rest of my tips for first-time-expecting-mamas-to-be:

12. Give yourself some grace. 

Some days, as a new mama, you will feel incredibly accomplished. Other days you will feel like it’s a struggle just to find time to shower… much less cook, clean, run errands, and whatever else you want to do. Especially during your “fourth trimester” (the first three months post-partum) give yourself time to find your groove. Do what you can, but give yourself grace for what you can’t.

13. Be prepared to be hormonal. 

Unfortunately the emotional rollercoaster doesn’t stop as the pregnancy gives way to birth. Your hormones will still be raging for a while. If you have really high highs and low lows for a period, don’t be alarmed. You might cry easily or anger easily, but this will also pass with a bit of time. (Case in point: When my baby was a few weeks old I was singing "You are my sunshine" to him as I changed his diaper. When I got to the line "please don't take my sunshine away" I burst into tears. My husband walked in to find me a blubbering mess and asked me what was wrong. "I just love him a lot {muahhhhh}" I responded as I continued to cry my little eyes out.) Apparently that's normal. {grin}

14. Reach out to others. 

You have a lot to process right now as your life changes. Don’t be afraid to reach out to others and make sure you keep talking. Talk through your emotions and your expectations. Talk through your fears and anxieties. Talk about your joys and talk about your challenges.

15. Be honest with yourself related to the “baby blues.” 

If you feel like you have the “baby blues” then take it seriously and find out more. Research or talk to your health care provider to see what’s normal and what’s more serious. There’s no shame in having the “baby blues” or even in having depression, so if you suspect you need help, then get it. You’ll be a better mother for it.

16. Don’t try to get your old body back, aim for your best new body. 

Even as a thin person who didn’t gain a ton of extra weight during pregnancy, I still needed to realize that my body will never be the same. There’s nothing wrong with this, it’s the progression of life moving forward. Don’t live in the past and spend time dwelling on what used to be... Instead spend time making the most of where you’re at and where you’re going. (And enjoy those big boobs if you’re normally a size B like me… they don’t last forever either!)

17. Write baby milestones down on a calendar as they happen. 

We all love to think we’re going to capture everything in a baby book or a blog, but sometimes we don’t have a firm grip on the reality of the work that will be. Write your baby’s milestones on a calendar that you can refer back to when filling in the baby book. As much as you think you won’t… you will forget. (And it sure beats scrolling back through months of your facebook status updates to try and remember what happened when!)

18. Early on, establish goals for you time and husband time. 

Even if these aren’t set in stone, at least have them in place and try your best to follow-through. You’d be surprised at how quickly a month can go by without having taken time out for yourself or for a date with your husband or your girlfriends. Be as deliberate as absolutely possible to prioritize these. You’ll be a better (saner) mom because of it.

19. Don’t be ruled by your insecurities. 

Becoming a parent inevitably unearths fears and insecurities. Instead of being alarmed by this or feeling like it disqualifies you or makes you a failure, realize that having them exposed is part of the process of dealing with them. Give yourself some grace, learn, grow, and rise above them.

20. Cuddle your baby as much as you want. 

He will only be tiny once (and not for very long), so don’t be too eager to start schedules and routines and rules. Just snuggle in together, let him sleep on your chest, and do as you please… especially for the first couple of weeks. Both you and your baby will be happier for it.

21. Take a million photos. 

You will never get this time back. Take as many photos and video clips as you want. In fact, take more than you want. You can always delete them later. If your husband forgets to take some with you in them, order him to do so. I’m so glad to be in lots of the photos from the first few days… I really was there at the birth and I have photos to prove it! {grin}

22. Remember that you can only do what you can do. 

No parent is perfect, but the parent who loves deeply, commits whole-heartedly, faces challenges with dedication, and cares for their child the best they know how… that is what qualifies you for greatness in parenting. You are the best mom your baby will ever have so don’t sell yourself short and don’t get trapped by lies that tempt you to think you’re not “good enough” or “competent enough” or “anything-else enough”. This must become your mantra: I’m a great mom, I’m a great mom, I’m a great mom.

Dear mommy-friends, if you are an expecting mom, did you find this two-part post helpful? And if you’ve already had your babies, what’s the best advice that you were given as a first-time-mom and/or advice that you now give to other expecting moms?

learning more all the time,

Have you registered your blog here yet?

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2010 
do not reproduce without written permission

hey you, pregnant lady! these tips and tricks are for you. (part 1 of 2)

Never-ever would I say, “hey you, pregnant lady!” in real life… but it did get your attention, didn’t it? Now before I go further, let me say congratulations on your pregnancy! What a wonderful time it is.

I was recently asked to write about things I’d tell a first-time-mama-to-be and—since I love this subject—I am thrilled to do so.

A few things you should know about me going into this: I love being a mom. I loved becoming a mom. I was one of those ladies that absolutely loved being pregnant. From my perspective, it’s such a special time with your baby… before you have to share him with the rest of the world.

Being pregnant, giving birth, and having a newborn is a big deal. Here is some of what I learned in the process:

1. Get educated about giving birth.

Explore your options for giving birth, listen to birth stories, ask moms what they’ve learned (things that helped and things they regret) and ask your doctor or midwife lots of questions. The more you know about birth, the less room there will be for fear. An educated woman is an empowered woman, and birth is no exception.

2. Research parenting philosophies, but remember that you’re the expert.

You will probably naturally be drawn to one end of the spectrum more than the other when it comes to things like sleep training vs. co-sleeping, feeding schedules vs feed-on-demand. But take a look at both camps and then make your own decisions. What works for one family will not be right for the next. Don’t be afraid to do what you feel is “right” and don’t waste time defending your decisions to those who oppose. For every opinion there is an opposite! Remember that there are no rules when it comes to caring for your child in areas like feeding and sleep. Once you decide then be consistent. Children, even babies, learn quickly what to expect and it’s hard on them if you’re all over the place. In saying that, if you’ve been trying something for a while that’s not working, change your approach and find what does.

3. Don’t be presumptuous and don’t judge.

Do yourself a favor and try to not be too presumptuous or too judgmental of what you see other parents doing. You will be surprised in a few months time when you find yourself changing your stance or approach on different things. Remember that parenting is not easy and all you can do is your best. It will change as you learn and grow in the midst of it. Appreciate other parents for their strengths and try to learn from what they do that works, rather than judge them for what you see that you don’t like.

4. Realize that you have expectations that you may not be aware of.

We all have expectations… but some of them lurk under the surface and only appear in our conscious minds when they are not met. This is fine, in fact normal, but just knowing that you’ve probably got some expectations that you can’t articulate will help when you’re faced with the ones that aren’t met. (Knowing is the first step toward processing.)

5. Have a friend rally friends to prepare you dinners post-partum.

Not doing this is a regret of mine. Especially since I had an unplanned c-section, having this kind of support would have been so good for us. Since my husband is a rockstar, he did all the cooking and taking care of the house… but he was exhausted too. In hindsight I wish we had organized some outside help from friends to give both my husband and I some extra support. (And don’t think you’ll be up for asking when the baby comes – do it in advance.)

6. Have your husband ask for extra leave in the event you end up in surgery.

This is another thing that I wish someone had suggested to me in advance. I had planned on having a natural water birth, and then while in labor had to be transferred to surgery for a c-section. I ended up staying in the hospital for five days (husbands aren’t allowed to stay overnight here) and so by the time I was released we only had a week together as a family at home. I wish my husband would have asked in advance for an extra week paternity leave in the event of an unplanned c-section. Not only would the family bonding time have been really wonderful (especially as first-time-parents), but I really could have used the extra help and support physically and emotionally as I recovered from the surgery.

7. Have a plan for your birth and communicate your desires.

Think through your goals and priorities and discuss them with your husband/partner and your medical providers. Don’t assume that in the thick of labor they will be able to read your mind (and don’t assume you’ll be able to communicate clearly then either). Include contingencies. (For example, I wish I had stated that in the event of a c-section, I still wanted to hold my son for a few minutes before they took him off to be weighed and checked. I didn’t get to hold him until about an hour after he was delivered, and medically there was no reason for this.)

8. Be nice. 

Yes, your D-Day is about you and your baby, but don’t forget that you’re not in this alone. Make it a goal to be nice to your husband. Just supporting you is exhausting and emotional, and don’t downplay his role. Appreciate him. Appreciate your support people. Appreciate your doctor, midwife, and the nurses that take care of you. Birth is monumental for everyone, and a little kindness and gratitude will go a long way.

9. Write your birth story as soon as possible. 

Even if it’s unpolished and doesn’t sound pretty, write your birth story as soon as you possibly can. Write the details that you think you’ll never forget… because most likely you will. You can always edit your story later on, but just having some of the play-by-play written out will make it far easier when you do want to make it sound “pretty”.

10. Help your body heal. 

Remember that although giving birth is totally natural and wonderful, it is also a massive strain on your entire being. Be patient, rest when you can, and nurture your body with lots of water and healthy food. Oh, and keep taking your prenatal vitamins, especially if you’re breastfeeding.

11. Let people take care of you, and if they don’t, ask them to. 

No matter if you have an “easy” or a difficult labor and delivery, giving birth is hard work and your body has gone through so much. Take the time you need to recover, and get as much help as you can. You have years to prove yourself as supermom… now is not the time.

TO BE CONTINUED… part 2 of 2.

Dear mommy-friends, please check back tomorrow for the second half of this post!

from one new mama to another,

Have you registered your blog here yet?

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2010 
do not reproduce without written permission

my midwife's better than your midwife

When I first got pregnant, I didn't know much about different models of pre-natal care and delivery options. Like many first-time-mommies, I dove into books like What to Expect When You're Expecting (the "pregnancy bible") and signed up for a couple of different websites to give me weekly updates on bub's development.

And then I met Jeannine Bradow who would turn out to be my midwife.

Jeannine ("Nean") walked me through all the changes of my growing belly and body and baby until that 40-week mark, then helped deliver my precious son, and then looked after us with weekly home visits for the first 6 weeks of Levi's life.

Not only did she teach me so much about being a mother and carrying a baby, but she also helped educate me on the birthing process. Being equipped like that (knowledge = power!) went a long way toward distilling any fears or negative preconceived ideas that I had in my attitude toward the actual event of childbirth.

Now Nean is not only "my midwife" as I like to call her, but she is also my friend. I just want to sing her praises and brag about her a little because, well, she deserves it! She's a champion of mothers and a lover of babies. She helps to bring a sense of empowerment to women during this most monumental time of womanhood: the birth of her child.

Nean just won the award for Townsville's Midwife of the Year. I'm so proud of her and I can't think of any one more well-deserving.

Hooray for Nean! x