the sneaky cookie-stealers at mcdonalds

Approaching discipline issues with others’ children is a very sensitive issue. What would you have done in this situation?

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It’s been raining constantly this week. Anyone knows that bad weather plus a stir-crazy toddler equals a potential disaster and an inevitable mommy meltdown.

So in order to avert said disaster and mommy meltdown, I decided to take Levi to McDonalds to change things up a bit. I would take my computer (free wifi), get a coffee at McCafe, and sit in the indoor kids area while Levi had some space to run around.

Sounds lovely, doesn’t it?

When we first got into the kids room there were about five school-age kids running around, everyone playing happily and having a blast. It wasn’t long before the kids disappeared, leaving behind a box of food that Levi quickly discovered.

I went over to swipe it away from him (didn’t want any half-chewed-up mcnuggets finding their way into his little mouth) and saw that it was an unopened box of cookies. Score! I am a sucker for McDonald’s cookies – both the chocolate chip ones and the animal cookie(ish) ones. These were the animal cookie ones – a perfect snack for Levi and I to share.

Thinking about it for a brief moment, I decided to put them down and make sure the other kids weren’t just out for a bathroom break or something. “If these are still here after a little while we can share them,” I said to Levi (but more to myself than him).

I have to admit, the thought of free cookies did excite me a little, but of course I didn’t want to steal from unsuspecting children who may get to the car and realize they left their precious cookies behind.

A few minutes later some older kids came in; they must have been about nine and eleven years old. Immediately they also discovered the cookies and the younger brother picked them up.

“Are those yours?” I asked, knowing full well that they were not.

“No, they’re not his,” the older sister said.

“Well then put them down please.” I replied.

“But those kids left,” the boy protested.

“How do you know they won’t come back to get them?” I continued. “Please put them back where you found them.”

The boy put them down.

For the next several minutes the kids lurked on the stairs near the forgotten cookies. I could see them out of the corner of my eye, looking for an opening. I glanced up frequently from my computer, curious as to what they would do but also keeping an eye on my 14-month-old.

They knew full well that I was watching them. They also knew full well that I wasn’t their mother.

Sure enough after a few minutes I noticed that the two were no longer hovering over those coveted cookies. They had disappeared into the play structure along with the coveted box.

Yes, I was irritated. Not just because I couldn’t have my cookies (heck, I could always just go and buy some for us – that wasn’t a big deal), but because I told them not to pick them up and they snuck around and defiantly took them anyway.

I sat there thinking about what to do while the kids watched from within the structure to see if I noticed.  My former childcare worker/preschool teacher self was coming out and I wanted to set these kids straight. However I also knew that I have no business disciplining someone else’s kids at McDonalds. (By the way I was the only parent in the play area – these kids were plenty old enough to play unsupervised and their parents were nowhere to be seen.)

After several minutes of deliberations, I decided to give them a short “pep talk” and maybe lay on a little healthy guilt.

As I walked toward the structure I could hear alarmed whispers, frantic shuffles, and crinkling cellophane.

I peered around the corner and they looked at me with wide-eyes, no doubt wondering what their fate was.

“I know you guys took those cookies”, I said in a calm, respectful tone. “Didn’t I tell you when you first came in that they didn’t belong to you? And then you snuck around and took them anyway when I wasn’t looking. I know I’m not your mom, but I’m still an adult and you should know better than sneaking around like that to do something you know you shouldn’t. Anyway, I just think that next time you should think about it a little more before you sneak around taking other peoples stuff.”

Then I went back to my place on the floor and left it at that.

I found this hard because: 1) I had no authority to discipline these kids (just as I wouldn’t want a stranger disciplining mine); 2) I believed these kids were old enough to make good decisions and the fact that they were sneaking around just proved that to me; 3) My parent/teacher instincts wanted to help them learn self control and integrity; 4) Let’s face it, I had already mentally staked a claim to those forgotten cookies.

Dear friends, what do you think? Was I sticking my nose where it didn’t belong? Would you have spoken to these kids initially about the cookies? Or again after they took them? Would you have left it as-is? Maybe you would have just eaten the cookies in the first place, or left them for the next person without noticing or caring. And what do you think in general – should you call out kids when they blatantly misbehave if their parents aren’t there to do it themselves? Or should you just ignore it as long as it doesn’t effect your own child? I generally think it’s not my business unless it is harming another child or affecting mine in a way I don’t approve of… but this little scenario just pushed a button since they so defiantly and sneakily disregarded my straight-forward instruction (which I felt was a completely reasonable instruction in the first place). What do you think?? Feel free to agree or disagree with me, as long as you do it respectfully. :)

still cookie-less and kinda sad about it,

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2011
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