the mommyhood memos: tell me! what's the best thing about being a *working* mom?

Thursday, August 12, 2010

tell me! what's the best thing about being a working mom?

Moms work.

We work in the office, we work at home, we work from home.

All moms work... and work hard. No one can dispute that.

In celebration of moms doing what's best for themselves, their kids, and their families, I'm putting together a series called Moms Who Work.

I'm calling the series Moms Who Work because we all know that being a mom is hard work, whether that's your full time "job" or not. Every position comes with its own ups and downs... its own rewards and pitfalls.

Although the MWW series will include some thoughts from me, the even more exciting news is that I will be having a variety of guest bloggers (which I will introduce at the beginning of the series). Moms Who Work will feature working moms, stay-at-home-moms, work-from-home-moms, studying moms...

My heart for this series is to generate discussion and get a variety of perspectives about the joys, challenges, highlights, low-lights, and the reasons that moms make the decisions that they do, whether they work inside or outside the home, or a combination of both.

No doubt we'll be inspired by some incredible Moms Who Work as they provoke us to think and evaluate, help us to understand different perspectives, and encourage us in our own journeys. I can't wait to hear from them!

I'd also like to hear from you - Moms Who Work - as we prepare for this series!

1. Are you a stay-at-home-mom, work-at-home-mom, working mom, or studying mom?

2. Was this decision hard for you? (Why or why not?)

3. What is the best part about being a _________?

4. What is the hardest part about being a _________?

5. What do you wish you'd known when you first decided to stay at home/go back to work/work from home/start back at school/etc.?

6. Was the transition difficult for you? (Why or why not?)

7. What do you wish others better understood about what it's like to be in your position?

8. Is there anything that you'd especially like to see covered during the upcoming Moms Who Work series??

Please feel free to answer one or all of my questions in a comment below. I'll be using some of your responses in the upcoming Moms Who Work series and will be sure to credit you and your blog.

Have you registered your blog here yet?

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2010
do not reproduce without written permission

Labels: mommyhood, stay at home mom, work, work from home mom, working mom

22 Comments:

At August 12, 2010 at 3:30 AM , Walkers said...: Hey,
I love your blog.
I'm a stay at home mom. And I just wanted to share a little about the difficult transition I had. I suffered big time with post partum, I really wanted nothing to do with my sweet baby. I thought i was majorly Crazy. But as the time went on, I got over my post partum, but there are days that I still just want to break down. Its def. not easy being a stay at home mom. I think its the most rewarding job, but at the same time its emotionally draining. I think sometimes we forget to stop, and take time for ourselves. We're just constantly trying to take care of our child, which can be really hard at times. Another thing that is still really difficult about being a stay at home mom. Is juggling the time with your husband as well. I know that sometimes I can really neglect him, but its really hard to have a child hanging on you all day, and meet there every need, and than at the end of the day, try to give some of your time to your husband, I know Me personally by the end of the day, I don't want anyone touching me, I just want a break from being needed. So Its def. been a super hard transition, that I'm still working on, and will constantly need to work on. But i think its so good that your doing this, because its so good to hear from other moms out there, and to know that other people are going through the same emotions you are! Its def. not an easy job!
At August 12, 2010 at 3:34 AM , Rosilind Jukic said...: This is an awesome idea!!!

1. Are you a stay-at-home-mom, work-at-home-mom, working mom, or studying mom?

I am a work-at-home mom

2. Was this decision hard for you? (Why or why not?)

Not at all. It was non-optional with me. Since I have to work it must be at home.

3. What is the best part about being a _________?

I get to be with my son 24/7 and be apart of all the "firsts".

4. What is the hardest part about being a _________?

I miss adult conversation - that's why I make it a point to go to church....and visit parks regulalry.

5. What do you wish you'd known when you first decided to stay at home/go back to work/work from home/start back at school/etc.?

How hard it is to balance everything.

6. Was the transition difficult for you? (Why or why not?)

No - I began working at home when I was 7 or 8 months pregnant.

7. What do you wish others better understood about what it's like to be in your position?

I wish they would take seriously what I do. Some people think you work in your PJs and are not professional. I am just as professional as the lady in an office...its just my office is in my living room!

8. Is there anything that you'd especially like to see covered during the upcoming Moms Who Work series??

Balancing working at home, being a mom, being a wife...cleaning, cooking, laundry, ironing, and, and, and....
At August 12, 2010 at 3:53 AM , Mandy@ a sorta fairytale said...: 1. I am a stay at home mom that works part time doing photography.

2. It wasn't a hard decision to stay home, but it was definitely foreign. Growing up, I never thought I'd be a stay at home mom. I really thought I'd be out in the work force. But it's the best decision I ever made. Granted, I am a photographer part time, but I consider it more of a hobby than a profession. And being a Mom is definitely harder work :-)

3. The BEST part about being at home with my son is that I AM the one that get's to teach him and help him progress. I LOVE being here to see every single little thing, every milestone. There is nothing more rewarding than watching your little one discover this big world around him.

4. I think the hardest part about being a stay at home mom is that I don't get as much adult social interaction. Sometimes I miss having those every day casual adult conversations. BUT blogging and meeting all of the other people/mommies out there really helps. I love that I can turn to blogger and find so many people I relate to. That inspire me.

5. I wish I would have known that it's exhausting entertaining a baby all day! Ha ha. Seriously, it tires me out! By the end of the day, I'm more ready for bed than my baby is!

6. The transition has been smoother than I thought it would be. Sometimes I get a little stir crazy but I try to keep busy. Me and the babe get out a lot and get together for play dates as often as we can.

7. I wish others understood just how much work goes into being a full time mom. People often say to me "Oh your lucky, you get to just stay at home all day and have fun". And yes, that is true to a certain extent. But its not always as glamorous as people make it out to be. There are times when it is just down right frustrating.
"A screaming baby, spit up everywhere, a messy house, the dog threw up on the carpet, I have to pee, when was the last time I showered?, oh great someone is knocking at the door and I'm nursing, Ah, I can't reach my phone and I really need to take this call, explosive diapers, more crying..." and the list goes on. It's truly truly a mess sometimes. But a beautiful mess, and one that I'm so grateful for.

8. I just can't wait to get advise and get to know more Mama's!
At August 12, 2010 at 4:08 AM , cooperl788 said...: . Are you a stay-at-home-mom, work-at-home-mom, working mom, or studying mom?
I'm a stay-at-home mome

2. Was this decision hard for you? (Why or why not?)
This decision was something my husband and I went back and forth about for a long time. As far as leaving my teaching career, it wassn't difficult. But living without that (small amount) of money was something that was difficult for us to try to reconcile.

3. What is the best part about being a _________?
Being a SAHM means that I can take care of my own family the way that I want to. I'm home to take care of the errands and chores that my husband and I used to fight over every weekend. When he gets home, he can enjoy spending time with me and his daughter, without having to worry about cleaning or running over to the grocery store. It's a low-stress life for us to have me stay home. Maybe it's a little 1950's, but it works for us.
4. What is the hardest part about being a _________?
It's a struggle to come up with new ways to entertain Georgia, to keep her engaged in something that will stimulate her mind and help her learn about the world. I try to keep the tv off, but we find ourselves slipping into Blues Clues and other things as the afternoon wears on.
Also, when you're trying to eat healthfully, it's really hard to have all the food at your fingertips all day. I have to make a huge effort to keep our fridge closed after mealtime.
5. What do you wish you'd known when you first decided to stay at home/go back to work/work from home/start back at school/etc.?
I wish I would have known how lonely I would get without the adult interaction of a full-time job. By the time Jeremy gets home at the end of the day, I desperately want to just have some adult conversation. I also wish someone would have told me how frustrated I would get at my own child. Nobody wants to admit it, but raising a kid can be really crazy-making!
6. Was the transition difficult for you? (Why or why not?)
The transition to staying home wasn't too hard, but going from 0 to 1 kid was really hard! It was like going from 0 to 100 in one minute. One minute I was my own person, and the next I was living for someone else. That slowly got better, and I learned to fit myself into the schedule, but the first months were really difficult.
7. What do you wish others better understood about what it's like to be in your position?
I wish that others understood that even though it's a choice to stay home, that I still feel frustrated with my choice, just like every person. I really wish others would understand that I'm busy all day - I don't sit at home and watch soap operas all day. I'm cooking, cleaning, growing my child's mind - homemaking!
8. Is there anything that you'd especially like to see covered during the upcoming Moms Who Work series??
I would be really curious to see how work-at-home moms balance their careers, and how they came to that choice, what careers they went into, etc.
At August 12, 2010 at 5:20 AM , Tiffany Larson said...: I'd love to comment because today I went from a part time working outside of the home mom to a full time SAHM. Just saying that makes me giddy!

For me, working part-time outside of the home was far harder than staying home full time. Trying to maintain focus on work on some days and family other days and "balance" both was chaotic. I don't believe that true "balance" was ever attainable. My work needed me when I wasn't there. My kids needed me when I wasn't there.

My oldest is almost 4 so I'm so excited to spend two more years with her before she goes to school all day and my baby will be thrilled to spend more time snuggling with me.

I truly believe we will have far more balance in our life than we've had for the past 4 years and I'm grateful for the opportunity to stay home now!

The best advice I would offer to other moms, particularly new moms is that you may change your desire to work or not work over the years so prepare yourself financially to be able to make those changes. Don't start working and adapt your lifestyle to your new income because you may find once baby #2 or #3 rolls around that staying home is the better option for your family. That's what happened to us and fortunately it worked out for me to stay at home but I have other friends that cannot afford to stay at home and would like to.
At August 12, 2010 at 5:49 AM , Baby Boberg & Parents said...: 1. I am a stay-at-home-mom.

2. No. My mom stayed at home with me until I was school age and I loved having that special time with her and I knew I would do that with my children as well.

3. The best part about being a SAHM is that I get to make my own schedule. I don't have to listen to a boss tell me to be here or there by a certain time.

4. The hardest part about being a SAHM is that I have to realize things may not always go according to my schedule. Things come up. I get sick. Baby gets sick.

5. I wish I'd known that some days can be a bit lonely. That while having conversations with a 6mth old can be quite funny they are a bit one sided and not always very helpful.

6. No. I was a nanny for the past five years before my baby was born. If anything the transition was from a hard job to a bit easier because of caring for one child instead of two or three.

7. That I'm still working hard. I'm not just sitting on the couch watching soaps and eating bon bons. I have a lot to get done everyday and that all has to be balanced with taking care of a child that demands all my attention.
At August 12, 2010 at 8:49 AM , Anonymous said...: Great minds!! I'm working on The Working Mom Interviews, similar concept! I'm compiling ideas and concepts setting it up as well to start the interviews... Very cool idea!
At August 12, 2010 at 9:02 AM , Unknown said...: In Feb 2010 I decided to stay at home w/ my daughter and work very part-time. The mental solitude is what frustrates me. While I have more time to clean, shop etc I also have more time to over analyze situations that I would not have otherwise done while working. Being a SAHM is a different kind of hard than a working mom. BTW, just gave you a fun award...
At August 12, 2010 at 9:33 AM , Getrealmommy said...: I have done both. I found staying at home with my kids to be very hard work. I went back to work as a recruiter in March. I am not looking back. I work 32 hours a week, which for now is my limit. I firmly believe that at least one parent of a dual income family needs to have some sort of flexibility on the job. Someone needs to be there for parent's day at preschool, or to take the kids in for their doctor appointments etc. I really enjoy having a job outside of the home. I honestly started going nuts when I was at home full time, and as a result, I probably drove my kiddos insane as well. I was constantly searching for something to do, anything to get out of the house, dragging them out on the rainiest of days. I think that my having an outside job of the home is best for me and my family. The hardest part? Sometimes I feel disconnected from my kids daily lives. Our nanny takes my son to preschool and my toddler to playgroup. I used to know all of the kids and all of the songs and now I feel a bit out of the loop, and it makes me sad. I don't know that there is ever a perfect solution. But life ain't perfect!
At August 12, 2010 at 10:05 AM , Too Much Good said...: I'm a working mom and went back to work when Lila was four months old. This last month has been the hardest since she was born. No one could prepare for the struggle to keep it all in check. I constantly feel behind. Behind at work and struggling to give up my need to be a perfectionist in my job. Behind with Lila; I swear she looks more grown up every evening than she did that morning. Behind with my hubby, never having enough time to tell him stories. The decision was hard in the sense that I hated to leave her and easy because I love my job. The best part about being a working mom is getting to feel like I made a difference for someone's life at the end of my day at the nonprofit I work for. And then I get to go home and make a difference in the life of my family. I would love to hear about how other working moms have time to do anything besides work, make bottles, heat up frozen dinners and crash into bed? Who are these women that have hobbies??
At August 12, 2010 at 1:06 PM , kt moxie said...: 1. Are you a stay-at-home-mom, work-at-home-mom, working mom, or studying mom? Working mom -- full-time.

2. Was this decision hard for you? (Why or why not?) No. I never wanted to stay at home. It drives me crazy. I'm a better mom by working.

3. What is the best part about being a working mom? Pick-up! The kids always want to see you, they are excited, they often (not always) want to tell you about their day.

4. What is the hardest part about being a working mom? Finding enough time to take care of myself.

5. What do you wish you'd known when you first decided to stay at home/go back to work/work from home/start back at school/etc.? Despite the all jargon and talk, corporate America is not as flexible as they claim.

6. Was the transition difficult for you? (Why or why not?) The transition to motherhood was difficult! The transition back to work -- not so much.

7. What do you wish others better understood about what it's like to be in your position? It's not a competition! I'm not in a "who is the best mom" competition with stay-at-home moms. Just because I brought in Rice Krispie squares, and you made perfect, uniquely decorated cupcakes -- I'm not a bad mom!

8. Is there anything that you'd especially like to see covered during the upcoming Moms Who Work series?? Ambition in the workplace (getting promoted, raises, etc) when you are trying to raise small children -- can it be done?
At August 12, 2010 at 1:16 PM , Maryline said...: 1. I am a working mom, went back to work when my son was 8 weeks old. Broke my heart, but so glad I did! "What makes mommy happy & balanced is GOOD for baby!" <-- my philosophy

2. It was a hard decision emotionally, but I had always known I was going to return to work. It worked out great because until now I was able to work from home 2 days a week, and because we have a nanny at home, I get to see my little guy more!

3. The best part is that within work there is some "me" time, and of course work brings in the intellectual challenges I need. It also brings along the office bullshit that most companies carry along with them. I just wish I had a job I loved more!

4. The hardest part is that I feel like my little one is growing too fast and I wish I could hold on to what's left of my "baby" -- he is 16 months old.

5. Before going back to work, I wish I had been better prepared for the pumping deal. Breastfeeding alone was hard!

6. The transition went okay but the first week, I wanted to quit :) I hear this is pretty common!

7. Others don't often realize the time I have left to myself is close to zero. I need to sacrifice sleep to fit in the exercising, the blogging, etc.

8. Talk about what moms can do to facilitate the transition maybe? Flexible schedule, etc. And definitely address the "mommy guilt" that we all feel when we leave the office early to get home for the next feeding -- motherhood does not always mean you've turned into a less hard-working person, if anything it often means more productivity.
At August 12, 2010 at 3:20 PM , mdforkids said...: This sounds like a wonderful series Adriel, what a great idea! I love learning from other Moms and I think by collecting different voices here like you aim to do will be a fantastic sharing and learning experience for us all :)
At August 12, 2010 at 4:30 PM , HRH Mommy said...: Great idea Adriel! Very creative. Looking forward to it.

To answer your questions:

1. I work as an Adjunct Professor at a local college and took 5-6 months off after Ryder was born. The plan was that I was going back to work in June to teach the summer semester. In April hubby and I talked and we decided that i would stay home to be a mom. It was exactly what I wanted. David would take on the responsibility of making $$. Then work dried up (he's self-employed) and a few days after rejecting the job offer for the summer we regretted the decision. Things are incredibly slow at the moment, so I am returning to work in the Fall. I'd prefer to stay home, but it's only 2 hours/day of teaching, so it's not that bad.

2. I already mentioned this in #1 - yes. I'd prefer to stay home as being a Mom is what I really want to be. My teaching job is more a means to an end - it's not my true passion.

3. ... mom - having the privilege to see my sons grow up. Be there with them, for them and being able to create a bond that I would not be able to create if i were out of the house at a job.

4. ... mom - facing the challenges that the children throw to me. I am a group person and function best if I can talk and discuss situations with others. There are many instances where I am the only one making the decision, figuring out how to go about doing something, simply because David is at work and no one else is around who i can discuss a situation with in that very instance. yes, I can talk to my friends over the phone, at play dates, etc., but it doesn't do much in the moment that a certain situation comes up.

5. Before becoming a mom, you hear often "being a mom is the hardest and the most rewarding job there is". I never knew exactly what that meant "the hardest job". Really? How could that be? Now a mom, I totally get it. it truly is the most difficult and most rewarding job there is, but I would add to that: at 5 a mom cannot leave work behind and shut the door behind her. The job of being a mom is a 24hr/day job and requires attention and focus at both 3am and 3pm.

6. No, the transition wasn't difficult. I LOVED it. With my pregnancy with Ryder, I stopped working 6 weeks before my EDD. This was the end of the Fall semester. It gave me 6 weeks to solely focus on Kai. 6 weeks of one-on-one time, time with my only son, before I would have 2 boys. They were 6 weeks in which Kai and I grew so much closer. It was perfect. Then, when Ryder was born, the transition went smoothly. It was perfect.

7. In the Netherlands (where I'm from) moms work and the kids are in day care. The responses I receive from both family and friends are less than supportive when I mention that I'd prefer to be a SAHM. I have a Masters Degree and therefore am expected to work and make $$. After I became a mom that all changed for me. Being a mom is so much more rewarding than the $$ any job would pay. Luckily my hubby is all for me being a SAHM, though at the moment I will be returning to work, simply since things have been slow (hubby is self-employed) and we need the extra $$.

8. Nothing I can think of right now, but if anything comes up later, I will certainly let you know.

Looking forward to it.

HRH Mommy
http://mformommy.blogspot.com
At August 13, 2010 at 12:22 AM , One with many names said...: 1. Are you a stay-at-home-mom, work-at-home-mom, working mom, or studying mom?
I am a working mom. I work full-time in a hospital in a supervisory role.

2. Was this decision hard for you? (Why or why not?)
I have always needed to work, when I was married we needed both incomes to keep us going. Now that I’m divorced (and also widowed) I have no choice but to work, us single moms need to put food on the table.

3. What is the best part about being a _________?
My children see me working, they know that I love them, I make time for them, they are learning about money. The economy is tough and we all have to make decisions about how we spend our money. So they get choices, choices on what activities they really want to do. We spend more time just me and them.

4. What is the hardest part about being a _________?
Not being free to be there with them when they need you. Sometimes they get sick or get hurt while you are at work. And while you can rush to their side… it’s not the same as if you were there when it happened. There are times when the stressors of work do come into the home life… and it’s a struggle to remember that you can’t take any frustrations out on your children. That your temper needs to not be as short because you had a bad day. And of course, one of the hardest parts of being a working mom… is missing out on moments of your child’s life. They go to events or parties or play dates… times you are at work and can’t get away. As a mother, you feel those moments strongly.

5. What do you wish you'd known when you first decided to stay at home/go back to work/work from home/start back at school/etc.?
The answer is nearly too long to get into! I was a mom at 20 years old. I had no idea how to juggle the priorities of life. I had no idea how stressful things could be. There were things I took for granted. Now that I’m older, I wish I knew then that every moment is precious. That children are individuals and so special. To record those special memories, because even if you think it is one you will forever remember in detail, there will always be new moments and sometimes, time makes them fade a little.

6. Was the transition difficult for you? (Why or why not?)
No, I’ve been working since I was 15 years old. It’s all I’ve known really. I was placed on bedrest with my second pregnancy and had to spend a few months at home with my toddler. I thought I was going to go insane. I didn’t think I had the gusto to be a stay at home mom

7. What do you wish others better understood about what it's like to be in your position?
Well, my younger daughter has Aspergers. The way that I parent her is different than the way a parent may work with an average child.

8. Is there anything that you'd especially like to see covered during the upcoming Moms Who Work series??
Best responses for the “I’m bored…” conversation with your child…
At August 13, 2010 at 12:23 AM , One with many names said...: This comment has been removed by the author.
At August 13, 2010 at 12:23 AM , One with many names said...: I tried posting but got some error messages... le sigh
At August 13, 2010 at 1:35 PM , Making It Work Mom said...: Hi -
visiting from 31DBBB.

Thought I would comment on some of your working mom questions.
I am a work outside the home mom. I have been a mom for 10.5 years and have always worked. It wasn't an option at the beginning and it probably isn't an option now.
My career has changed as a result of having children and has changed as my children get older.
The hardest part is trying to be everything for everyone and never feeling like you have enough time. I could "work" all night and still not accomplish everything.
The best part is I enjoy my job and I think I do good job. I hope my children see that and see my pride in a job well done.
I guess that I just want everyone to understand that I am always doing the best that I can. That I am constantly trying to manage everything. I don't work because I don't like to be a mother, but I do enjoy my job.
Can't wait to read your series/
At August 13, 2010 at 2:55 PM , Adriel Booker said...: Wow, these are amazing responses ladies - thank you!!! I can't wait to start this series. I think we're all gonna love it... especially since I have some fab guest bloggers lined up!
At August 13, 2010 at 4:06 PM , Laura said...: Hi Adriel
This is a great idea - can't wait to read the series. My answers:

1. I work part-time (four days per week) and I'm just about to start studying again, yikes!

2. Yes, initially I felt guilty because I tried to be a SAHM but I really missed working.

3. The best part of working part-time is you get the best of both worlds - plenty of adult conversation and stimulation but still some time at home with your child.

4. The hardest part is that often your day off becomes the hardest day of the week because you try to fit so much in - cleaning, socializing, catching up on chores. Often I'm relieved to get back to work so I can relax!

5. I wish that I had known that my little girl would thrive in childcare and be very happy.

6. Yes it took me a while to get re-established at work and into a routine. Now it's just second nature tho I'm inevitably exhausted by Friday! But who isn't?

7. I've found most mums to be very supportive. When anyone meets my little girl they can tell that she gets plenty of attention and love and comes from a happy family.

8. I'd be interested in anyone who tried being a SAHM but couldn't stick it (like me) and went back to work.
At August 14, 2010 at 6:20 AM , KDC Events said...: 1. I am a few: I work 3 days a week out of my home and 4 days a week in my home.

2. It was a hard decision financially, but it was more important for me to be with the kids.

3.- A work at work: The quiet, the coffee, the conversation
- A work at home: the playing, staying in jammies, the laughing, the discovery, the love

4. - A work at work: leaving the little one and trying to keep the house up on the days I am at the office.
- A work at home: not answering my email whail at home =) and getting my brain back in to "work mode" upon office return

5. How hard it is to keep a house claen, mouthes feed, laundry done, activities attended all while trying to work at work and not at home!

6.Yes but only getting used to less monry in the checkbook

7. just because I am not at the office and at home, does not mean I am on vacation, having a day off or eating bon bons! I am working just as hard, if not HARDER!!!

8. how other moms handle working part time and keeping up with family

PS: this is a GREAT idea! I am excited to see and follow this series.

Denice
http://kdcevents.blogspot.com
At August 17, 2010 at 6:41 AM , Jessica said...: Sorry for the delay! I have been meaning to respond to this post for some time now. Here are my responses:

1. Are you a stay-at-home-mom, work-at-home-mom, working mom, or studying mom?
I am a wahm and work-in-the-office mom. I work at home three days out of the week and in the office for two.

2. Was this decision hard for you? (Why or why not?)
It was very difficult. I talk about it a lot on my blog, but to sum things, my mom was a sahm, and even though I had imagined myself being a “career mom” (whatever that meant), when I had Nya, my whole perspective changed. I no longer wanted to work or contribute to anyone else's bottom line as that which used to inspire me to do so, or my "American dream," I realized, was only a facade.

While unpaid and without any tangible accolades to name, as a stay at home mom, I enjoyed spending my days at home with Nya as her mommy and “being there” for every moment of her childhood.

I ended up deciding to go back to work after much debate because in addition to being Nya's mom, I realized that I also enjoyed my work, and with my current schedule, I assumed that I could have the "best of both worlds."

3. What is the best part about being a _________?
I think the best part is that I, in being able to work from home, am able to straddle both lines. I am able to see Nya for much of the week and still do what I love and find fulfillment in ways outside of motherhood.

I think this, "or finding fulfillment" through avenues other than just motherhood is important as being a mom does not mean, I think, that one needs to lose sight of your individual hopes, dreams, and ambitions. And, in saying this, I do not mean that every woman needs to work to be fulfilled. Some women find fulfillment in things like volunteering, sewing, writing, cooking, blogging, etc. It doesn't matter what it is. It's just important that we (as women) are happy, sane, and healthy.

4. What is the hardest part about being a _________?
On the days that I am in the office, I have a hard time leaving Nya. I also, often, battle feelings of guilt for choosing to work rather than devoting all of my time to being at home with Nya.

5. What do you wish you'd known when you first decided to stay at home/go back to work/work from home/start back at school/etc.?
I can honestly say that there isn't anything that I wish I'd known when I decided to go back to work.

6. Was the transition difficult for you? (Why or why not?)
The transition wasn't too difficult because of my schedule. As I said previously, I work from home three days out of the week and am in the office for two days out of the week. Adding a full time job, however, onto being a wife and mom, even with this flexible schedule, is still something that I find a bit challenging. Some days are better than others in this respect, but I am learning as I go along.

7. What do you wish others better understood about what it's like to be in your position?
Umm. I wish that others understood that in choosing to return to work, I did not choose work over my daughter. Both in my real life and online, when I was in the stage of figuring out whether I would return to work, I received some responses from stay at home moms who implied that in returning to work, I would be, essentially, putting my self interests over those of my daughter. That hurt!

8. Is there anything that you'd especially like to see covered during the upcoming Moms Who Work series??
I would like to hear from entrepreneurial women. In the process of trying to figure out what was best for me, I encountered many women who started businesses so that they could remain at home with their children. That's just so inspirational to me! I would love to hear their stories and hear what advice they would have to give to other mothers interested in following in their footsteps!

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the mommyhood memos

Thursday, August 12, 2010

tell me! what's the best thing about being a working mom?

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