i gots me some mama badges

Today I was reading of Melissa’s adventures in NYC on Dear Baby and how she has earned a new “badge for her sash” by changing her precious little pumpkin on her lap in a restaurant bathroom. It got me thinking about what badges I’ve earned in the last six months…

1.         The I-Can-Make-Dinner-While-Breast-Feeding Badge. It had been one of those days… and I was behind on absolutely everything, including making dinner for the friends that were about to come around. But when I pulled out “my breast friend” and a kitchen barstool, I found out that I do have the mommy-multi-tasking talent that I always dreamed of. {And I did it without burning down the house.}

2.           The I-Can-Go-To-The-Bathroom-With-An-Infant-Strapped-To-My-Chest Badge. When my son was seven weeks old I traveled from Australia to America without my husband to show Levi off to my family. (Hubs had to work.) I did my best to limit my fluids in transit and time my bathroom breaks just right, but when it takes you four flights to get from point A to point B over a 20+ hour period, there are some things you just can’t control. Rather than pass my little babe to a stranger—or pee my pants for that matter—I strapped him up on my chest in the Moby Wrap and did what I needed to do. {Also worth mentioning here is the I-Can-Manage-Shuttle-Busses-And-Check-In-And-Security-With-A-Diaper-Bag-Stroller-And-Large-Suitcase-By-Myself-Without-Waking-My-Baby Badge. I proudly earned that one too.}

3.           The I-Can-Live-Off-Of-Three-Hours-Of-Sleep Badge. Every mommy knows about this badge… but that doesn’t make it any easier to earn. I count myself among the proud who is still awake after a long time of being… awake.

4.           The I-Can-Drive-My-Manual-Car-With-One-Hand-While-Holding-A-Paci-In-My-Screaming-Baby’s-Mouth-With-The-Other-Hand Badge. Do you have this one? I bet you do. I’m told this one is a precursor to earning the I-Can-Drive-With-One-Hand-While-Breaking-Up-A-Fight-In-The-Backseat Badge. {We’re not there yet.}

5.           The I-Can-Interpret-Different-Colors-And-Textures-And-Consistencies-Of-Poo Badge. Black? Green? Yellow? Brown? Thin? Thick? I know what they mean and I’m a better mom for it. In fact, I would say that I am a poo expert.

6.           The-I-Can-Pull-A-Song-Out-Of-Nowhere-About-Anything-At-Any-Time Badge. Songs for bath time? Songs for diaper changes? Songs for owies? Songs for washing the dishes? Songs for sleepy time? I know ‘em all… because as of six months I became a very specialized songwriter.

7.           The I-Can-Beat-My-Baby-At-A-Wrestling-Match-I-Mean-Nail-Clipping-Session Badge. This one took some time to perfect, but I’ve found the perfect pin position now. {It should be noted here that this is the only time Levi gets bribed with the “secret weapon” aka the television. Works like a charm.}

8.           The I’ve-Learned-How-To-Pack-Way-More-In-The-Car-For-A-Family-Vacation-Than-I-Ever-Thought-Possible-Or-Necessary Badge. Weekend camping trip. Need I say more?

9.           The I-Pick-Other-Peoples-Noses-So-What Badge. This badge comes with immense satisfaction… because a crusty nose on a clean baby just doesn’t sit right with me.

10.      The Do-Ya-Wanna-See-My-Boobs-Cause-I-Just-Don’t-Care-Who-Does-Anymore Badge. Truth be told, my boobs just don’t feel much different than my fabulous ankles these days. I do try to keep the girls covered though… but that’s for your sake, not mine.

Dear Mommy-Friends, I think I've actually earned a few more... but I'm gonna cut it off at ten. What mama badges have you earned that you're most proud of?

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