i, too, have a dream

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. –Martin Luther King, Jr.

{while living for a short time in fiji with my parents. 1980.}

I was lucky to spend part of my early childhood in Fiji and other parts of Australasia, but largely I grew up in a very “white” town in small town America.

Although my hometown has changed and grown over the years to include a large Hispanic population as well as growing communities of Polynesians, Africans, Arabs, Asians, and other nationalities, it hasn’t been until the last fifteen years that you could even find any “ethnic” food beyond Mexican or Chinese, much less people that come from those parts of the world. (Thank God there are now many restaurants serving Thai, Indian, Japanese, Lebanese, etc. and the dear people that bring those foods with them.)

But largely my hometown was (and is) “white”. In fact, there was only one person in my entire middle school that did not have Caucasian decent. (Keep in mind this is twenty+ years ago now.)

And yet, even as a little girl I went through a phase where I dreamt of being a “black lady” when I grew up. From the depths of my soul I desperately wanted to be able to sing “Amazing Grace” like the African-American gospel choirs I’d see on television and in the movies. I thought surely it’s impossible without that beautiful, dark skin and curly black hair.

Naïve, I know.

And although I didn’t hold a negative stereo-type of African-American women, it was a stereo-type nonetheless.

We all hold stereo-types, whether we are aware of it or not.

Some of them may be racially driven. Others might have to do with an area geographically (ie: New Yorkers are rude, Southerners are polite, Californians are superficial). Still others have to do with economics, careers, social standing (ie: rich people are snobs, poor people don’t keep house well, librarians are quiet and shy). I could go on and on listing examples of how we all have stereo-types tucked away, hidden within our worldview.

As an American living abroad, I’m faced with these all the time (ie: Americans are loud, pushy, egocentric, and obese).

So here I am—an American in Australia—thinking about Martin Luther King, Jr. (a great man for which this nation doesn’t stop to recognize in terms of a holiday at least) and I wonder to myself, would he be pleased by what he sees today in our society?

In America we have our first African-American president. 

In Australia we have our first woman Prime Minister.

Those two offices alone prove that we’ve come a long way, baby. Amazing.

And yet I sometimes think that since we’ve “arrived” at this place… we run the risk of being satisfied… and growing complacent… and staying there.

Certainly there is still a long way to go.

With the rise of countless celebrities, athletes, and political figures of racial backgrounds other than “white”, we can say that progress is being made. (This is a good thing. This is a wonderful thing!) But my heart still breaks for those who’ve not yet made the spotlight. Or even worse, maybe they have… but only in a negative light.

What about the Hispanic? What about the Arabs? What about the Chinese? The Koreans? What about…

And then the question must be pointed back at myself.

What am I doing to help my son (and future children) grow up in an environment where they learn to embrace people from all walks of life… racial and otherwise?

This is such a challenging topic, and I certainly don’t presume to have all the answers, but as a parent I want to be deliberate about instilling the values of MLK Jr. into my children.

I have some ideas about how to help facilitate that (maybe the subject of a future post) and yet I know that the two most important things I can do to help my children learn to embrace people different than themselves are:

1) To lead by example. Every parent knows instinctively that young children easily adopt our attitudes, behaviors, etc. The question is, are we deliberate in how we lead as we set their foundations in place?

2) To give them exposure to lifestyles, cultures, and people who are different from us. I believe this should be a combination of “real life” exposure to friends, cultures, etc. as well as through things like story books, purposeful toys, etc.

My desire is the same as Dr. King’s – to see my children grow up in a world that gives opportunity and reward and accolade based on character… not on the “color of their skin” or a million other things that his phrase can represent.

I’m keenly aware that I have to help create that world.

I’m also keenly aware that I must include my children in the process, because they are the ones who will be running things soon. They are the ones who need to know how to treat others before they can expect to be treated with fairness, dignity, kindness, respect, and most of all love.

Dear friends, does this concept that MLK helped push to the forefront of American thinking impact your parenting? How?

doing my best to be deliberate,

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2010 
do not reproduce without written permission

black friday frenzie

It’s been five years since I’ve had a Thanksgiving in America.

And that also makes five years since I’ve been shopping on a Black Friday.

Black Friday.

The name even sounds a bit daunting, doesn’t it?

Last Thursday night (after an incredible Thanksgiving meal and celebration) I lay awake in my bed at midnight, completely exhausted and jetlagged… and yet unable to sleep. I was a ball of nerves and excitement about the next day.

I was to wake at 2:15am and head out the door with some girlfriends for a 2:30am breakfast at Dennys and an early start to get the best deals.

Even though I had nothing I really hoped or needed to get, just the thrill of a deal and the ridiculously fun cultural experience was enough to keep me up like a child before Christmas.

I finally fell asleep for what seemed like a few minutes before—PING—my eyes sprung open at 2:10am before my alarm even had a chance to sound.

It was a fun morning shopping, but I confess, I probably enjoyed the cultural experience more than the actual shopping and deals.

I bought a few little things ($2.00 DVDs make great stocking stuffers!) but I had even more fun checking out the people sleeping in the aisles at Walmart while they waited for the electronics to go on sale. (I desperately wanted to take a photo but didn’t for fear they would wake up mid-snap and take their shoppers rage out on an unsuspecting displaced American in… America.)

I also enjoyed a fresh Starbucks delight at 5:00am – an hour that I rarely ever see (even if there was Starbucks incentive in Australia) – and I helped a friend snatch up the best of the best deals for her kids’ Christmas gifts.

By 9:00am I was ready to collapse; my two hours sleep weren't stretching very far.

There is nothing that comes remotely close to Black Friday in Australia. But I think that’s possibly a good thing. For now, I’ll just consider it a rare treat that I can come home every five years to get a too-good-to-pass-up bargain… and save myself the sleepless nights tossing and turning over $4.00 pajama bottoms.

Dear friends, how about you? Did you shop on Black Friday? Was it a success?

for the love of a bargain,

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2010 
do not reproduce without written permission

a thanksgiving to remember

Levi’s first Thanksgiving was perfect.

It wasn’t “normal”, but then again, we aren’t always a “normal” family.

We flew into Hawaii on Wednesday night, just in time to celebrate the big holiday (in America!) with some of our closest friends.

On Thursday morning we started with a beautiful breakfast of all sorts of American and tropical delights filling our plates, and then headed out to a Thanksgiving service at the Ohana Court.

Together with a few hundred others, we thanked God for all that we have and celebrated the fact that life is good.

Make that… Life. Is. Good. Real good.

For our main meal we went to our friends’ house where we had mountains of glorious Thanksgiving fare and ate around tables filled with people from eleven different nations: Australia, New Zealand, Brazil, Holland, Canada, Korea, China, Egypt, Palau, Japan, and of course America.

We sat in our summer clothes enjoying gi-normous turkeys full of stuffing – the sort that can only be found in America – while the cool breeze blew through the open windows and sliding glass doors and the sun sank into the Pacific Ocean.

It was the perfect blend between my roots in Oregon and our home in Australia – a little bit of the tropics mixed with glorious American bounty until our belt buckles were busting.

Even Levi got to taste his first turkey and American-style yams.

We feel so blessed to be able to celebrate life and all that we have, along with others that are equally grateful for the opportunities and provision that God has extended to us.

And now, a few of the things I’m grateful for:

• My freedom to live and worship and speak and be all that I’m created to be.
• The amazing family that loves me so much and laid an incredible foundation for my life… and the wonderful family I married into.
• A husband that has become my closest and dearest friend.
• Our little boy who has turned my world upside-down and taught me what love is.
• The home we have which is a place of refuge, rest, celebration, fun, hospitality, and growth.
• Work that is rich and varied and purposeful.
• Friends that share their very best with me and make my life journey incredible.
• Technology that allows me to fly to the other side of the planet, speak face-to-face with far-away loved ones, and access the knowledge of the world at my fingertips.
• A home in heaven prepared with me in mind.

Thanksgiving holiday has come and gone, but my heart of gratitude remains. I’d like to reach the end of my days and be able to look back and say that I lived a life of gratitude… not just when November rolls around each year.

A life of gratitude is a life that stays sweet.

Dear friends, gratitude is something that I place high value on and hope to model to my children well. What are you grateful for today? Or how are you modeling gratitude for your children to see?

thankful,

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2010 
do not reproduce without written permission

dreaming of a white christmas

{the christmas i'm not dreaming of this year}

I know, I know... first comes Halloween, then comes Thanksgiving, and then I can think about Christmas, right? Wrong.


I cannot get Christmas off of my mind.


Could it be because this will be my first Christmas at home in America in five years?


Could it be that we haven't had a family vacation in almost two years?


Could it be that it will be my husband's first opportunity to have a white Christmas somewhere in Oregon at the foot of the mountains?


Could it be that I can't wait to introduce Levi to snow angels and snowmen and the thrill of sledding down a little kiddy slope?


Could it be that it's early springtime and already 85 degrees here and I just can't wait to wear my knee high boots and jeans, a sweater and a beanie?


Could it be that I just want to see my baby tear into his first gift-wrapped presents (and then no doubt get consumed with the boxes, not the new toys)?


Could it be that I cannot wait to see my brother and my parents and my grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins and... everyone playing with our growing boy?


Could it be that I'm dying for a Starbucks caramel macchiato?


Could it be that I long to hear the silence of softly falling snow?


Could it be that it's been five years since I've hit up American after-Christmas sales?


Could it be that I miss Oregon chai?


Could it be that I am dying for a little genuine Mexican food?


Could it be that I'm craving the warmth that comes from a crackling fire, rather than the warmth that comes from 80% humidity and 97 degree days?


Could it be that I just love warm cinnamon rolls and coffee on a cold wintry Christmas morning?


Could it be that I can almost feel the excitement of waking up to the stillness that comes with a fresh blanket of an over-night snowfall?


Could it be that I'm looking forward to hearing songs like "Let it Snow" and "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" without sweat dripping down my face and back and everywhere else?

{christmas baking last year at 35 weeks pregnant -
wearing compression socks for my elephant feet/ankles
and as little else as possible. i thought i was gonna die.} 

Could it be that I'm just long over-due for a Christmas at "home"?


Yes, yes, yes, yes, and a hundred more yes's. 


Dear mommy-friends, how about you? Are you already dreaming about Christmas?


literally dreaming of a white christmas,

Have you registered your blog here yet?

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2010 
do not reproduce without written permission

an australian 4th of july

There are so many things I love about Australia: the beaches, the weird animals, the sun, the slang, the nicknames, the proximity to Asia, the free public health care, the surf culture, and the dusty outback…

But it’s times like these that I miss America. {Oh, July 4th, you are so fun... so beautiful.}

If I could just teleport my family to the Land of the Free for this weekend I would be elated. What I wouldn’t give for my hometown’s 4th of July pancake breakfast in the park… the Kids, Bikes, and Pet Parade… the Jazz and Blues festival… the Freedom Ride (where the streets are taken over with an informal mass of young people on their cruisers), and a BBQ and fireworks at the neighborhood block party.

But this 4^th of July is just another Sunday here in Australia.

{sigh}

One of the things that’s important to Ryan and I is that our children grow up with an understanding—and love—for both of our home cultures. This is why we try really hard to celebrate American holidays in our own way, even if we are in the Land Down Under. (Therefore Thanksgiving is huge in this little family’s household!)

I want to do my best to not only celebrate these special American holidays, but to impart the meaning of them to my children.

And as for Independence Day, my hope is that Levi grows up knowing how privileged he is to hold that American passport (along with his Aussie one!) and all that it represents: hard-working and determined pioneers, creativity, invention, civil rights, the freedom of choice, religion, and speech… and so much more.

So this was our 4^th of July this year... Just look at the ridiculous outfit I subjected my son to:

{I'm pretty sure he won't thank me later... 

but we all enjoyed a good giggle at his expense.} 

Because of our work with YWAM, we work with lots internationals... and many of them are American. A few of us piled into our little back yard for a good old potluck BBQ, some watermelon, sparklers for the kids, and a smattering of red, white, and blue. Even my Canadian friend Kate was showing the love:

Though it wasn’t the same as if we’d been in State-side, our version was fun nonetheless. No doubt Levi will be glad to get to celebrate two sets of holidays growing up. See how his daddy got into it with his special jello dessert? My America-lovin' rockstar hubs thought this up without my prompting and made it for all of us to enjoy:

  {Isn't that so cute of him?}

Happy Independence Day to you. Hope it's full of sparkly sparklers, cool cups of ice tea, bright stars and bold stripes, and some good times with your friends and family.

Dear mommy friends, do you have cultural heritage that you are trying to impart into your children? What does this look like for you?

Love us? Vote here!