heaven and a donut: a pregnant woman’s living wish

I never used my golden ticket.

Nine long months and not once did I demand pad thai or cinnamon raisin bagels or Honey Nut Cheerios.

I suppose I’m lucky to say that my only lingering regret from my first pregnancy was never cashing in on my free pass to satisfy my every hormonal urge and craving. (Not counting my perfectly reasonable obsession with crushed ice by the bucket during my final two months. Side note: unless you are Indiana Jones or Houdini you just. won't. find. snow. in tropical Australia in the dead of summer... or the dead of winter for that matter. Crushed ice will just have to do.)

But no, my golden ticket sat collecting dust on the shelf while I happily munched on ice and my belly grew to busting point.

What a waste of power.

But this time, things are different.

I’m older. I’m wiser. I’m… hungrier.

I was eleven weeks along when I went out last weekend for a girls’ night out with friends. I had contentedly sipped my Sprite for two hours when my first craving hit me like a hurricane.

Donuts. Front and center, they stole the stage of my mind and took my every thought hostage.

All I wanted was one. Or maybe two. 

Three at the most.

I wasn't asking for anything fancy, just cinnamon donuts… a whim easily satisfied by a quick detour to the grocery store on our way home.

I loaded up my accommodating girlfriends and headed to the only supermarket in town still open. It was 9:57pm when we pulled into the parking lot (yes, shops do close that early here, even on a Saturday night). I was determined to be in an out in record time with my precious cargo.

After a frantic and fruitless search of the bakery section (twice), I left defeated and dejected.

There were no donuts. Not even a trace.

My head hung low, my shoulders slumped, the sparkle stolen from my eyes…

They locked the doors behind me at 10:02pm as I left empty-handed. It was in that moment that I wished my belly was just a little bit bigger. Then maybe somebody would feel sorry for me.

I just wanted a little sympathy.

And a donut.

My girlfriends tried to console me as best they could and I resigned to the fact that perhaps this pregnancy wouldn’t be so different than the first. After all…

I am woman. I am strong. I can live without donuts.

Yes, yes, yes!

I am woman.   I am strong.    I.  can.  live.  without.  donuts.

The next morning I woke to a gloomy, rainy day. It was Sunday—our day—and we decided to head to the mall, if just to have a place that Levi could run his little size four sneakers free without getting hammered by the torrential downpour that drenched our day-at-the-beach plans.

As soon as we stepped into the mall my husband turned to me and said these magic words: “How about we go and get a coffee and donuts?”

Right there on the spot I fell in love with that man all over again.

He knew not of my fruitless endeavors of the night before. He knew not that the baby and his* mama needed donuts.

And honestly, we aren’t even “donut people”. Ryan’s suggestion was left field… but sounded to me like a song from heaven. Surely Someone Divine whispered that thought into his mind. Surely.

I got my donut without so much as a whine or a fuss… or even a golden ticket.

In fact, I got two. Two fresh, warm, dunk-able cinnamon donuts.

Donuts have never tasted sweeter.

I have a sneaking suspicion my second pregnancy is going to be fabulous.

###

Dear friends, did you have cravings during your pregnancies? During my first it was ice, ice, and more ice. (Only because I couldn’t figure out how to get snow shipped in from my parents in Oregon.) During my second I’ve only had the one-off donut craving so far…. But we’ll see where it takes me. And you? How much did you use your golden ticket??

happy about my sweetie bringing me sweets,

*No, we don't know the gender of the baby yet. I just despise using the pronoun "it" for my child. Sometimes the English language is highly frustrating...

Also friends, this post is part of my Reclaiming Sundays project. For the record, our "gloomy, rainy day" turned out to be a perfect family day filled with muffled mall music, fake rides on a stationary Thomas the Train, and of course wonderful donuts. How were you deliberate in taking some time to enjoy those close to you this weekend?

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2011
do not reproduce without written permission

forever21 + JAPAN + the gap = flippin awesome

Sometimes a mama deserves to treat herself. Always a mama wants to help those in need.

Forever21 is donating 100% of their on-line sales today only to the relief effort in Japan. Pretty unbelievable, isn't it?!

Thought you'd like to know this awesome little fact.

And just when you think it can't get better, it does.

The Gap (and Old Navy, Banana Republic, and outlets) are having a four-day promotion where you can get 30% off and they donate 5% toward the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. Click on this link to get the special bar code to use in-store from March 17-20. (The bar code can be used multiple times, so share it around with your friends and family.)

Dear friends, how awesome are these promotions?!! The memos will never be a coupon blog or a deals blog... but I can't help myself this time. These are too good to not pass on. I'm just wishing I was in North America to take advantage of these! Hope you enjoy them on my behalf....

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2011
do not reproduce without written permission

black friday frenzie

It’s been five years since I’ve had a Thanksgiving in America.

And that also makes five years since I’ve been shopping on a Black Friday.

Black Friday.

The name even sounds a bit daunting, doesn’t it?

Last Thursday night (after an incredible Thanksgiving meal and celebration) I lay awake in my bed at midnight, completely exhausted and jetlagged… and yet unable to sleep. I was a ball of nerves and excitement about the next day.

I was to wake at 2:15am and head out the door with some girlfriends for a 2:30am breakfast at Dennys and an early start to get the best deals.

Even though I had nothing I really hoped or needed to get, just the thrill of a deal and the ridiculously fun cultural experience was enough to keep me up like a child before Christmas.

I finally fell asleep for what seemed like a few minutes before—PING—my eyes sprung open at 2:10am before my alarm even had a chance to sound.

It was a fun morning shopping, but I confess, I probably enjoyed the cultural experience more than the actual shopping and deals.

I bought a few little things ($2.00 DVDs make great stocking stuffers!) but I had even more fun checking out the people sleeping in the aisles at Walmart while they waited for the electronics to go on sale. (I desperately wanted to take a photo but didn’t for fear they would wake up mid-snap and take their shoppers rage out on an unsuspecting displaced American in… America.)

I also enjoyed a fresh Starbucks delight at 5:00am – an hour that I rarely ever see (even if there was Starbucks incentive in Australia) – and I helped a friend snatch up the best of the best deals for her kids’ Christmas gifts.

By 9:00am I was ready to collapse; my two hours sleep weren't stretching very far.

There is nothing that comes remotely close to Black Friday in Australia. But I think that’s possibly a good thing. For now, I’ll just consider it a rare treat that I can come home every five years to get a too-good-to-pass-up bargain… and save myself the sleepless nights tossing and turning over $4.00 pajama bottoms.

Dear friends, how about you? Did you shop on Black Friday? Was it a success?

for the love of a bargain,

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2010 
do not reproduce without written permission

let's talk about sex, baby

By Morgan, author of The Little Hen House

I love getting together with my mommy friends. I think they are the sole reason that being a Stay at Home Mom has not driven me to the loony bin (yet!). We get together about once a week, let the kids run amuck, and get a chance to have actual adult conversation.

Of all the things we talk about, sex is NEVER a topic. It’s interesting. I can tell you exactly how many stitches my best friend had after her second baby, and I have held my other friend’s breast while she tried to get her baby to latch properly, but I can’t tell you when the last time we honestly talked about sex.

Occasionally, usually in a one on one conversation, a girlfriend will open up to me about her sex life. Anyone who knows me knows that I will pretty much talk about anything, so I’m always down for a good sex talk. Here’s what I have learned: Most of us really don’t feel like doing it a whole lot. And by a whole lot, I mean pretty much almost never.

Here’s the part where I have to ask you to refrain from telling me about how you can’t get enough of your husband and you practically attack him the second he walks in the door. Good for you. And him.

What I’m saying is- most of us don’t have the same sex drive that we did before we became mothers. Don’t worry. It’s totally normal. The best thing we can do is share our experiences and try to help one another. So.....

Here is what I think affects libido after childbirth:

1. Breastfeeding- your estrogen levels are very low. It's like your body is in menopause. Even the act of just holding a baby makes your hormones drop. It's nature’s little way of ensuring their survival by making sure that you won't do anything that will make a sibling for them any time soon. :) 

2. Lack of sleep. Sleep trumps sex. Period.

3. Post baby body. Even if you have returned to your pre-baby size, you may feel differently about your body- especially if you are nursing or had a difficult delivery. 

4. How involved/helpful your partner is. I tell my husband that doing the dishes counts as foreplay. Husbands need to step up and act like supportive partners. I've had it with man-children. Mothers don't feel like having sex with a partner who acts like a child. They feel like putting them in the corner for a time out. 

5. Where your baby sleeps. It's hard to have sexy time when you have the baby in the bed. 

6. How consumed you are with motherhood. Take time for yourself. Work on a non-child related hobby. Have a glass of wine with your girlfriends. Re-connect with your pre-mommy self. You were a person before you had children. And that person felt like having sex. Get to know her again. 

7. Date night. I know it's cliché, but it's SO important to get away with your spouse once in a while. Enjoy a great meal, have a glass of wine (or two!). I find that Friday nights are great for us. It allows us to reconnect after a long week and gear up for the weekend. 

8. Baby blues/postpartum depression. Enough said. 

9. Fake it till you make it. Sometimes you just have to make yourself do it. You will be glad afterwards. So will your husband. :) 

10. Finally, you may never feel like jumping your partner’s bones like you used to. That's ok. Having children changes everything about a relationship. You are both parents now and you need to re-discover each other in a completely new way. It's really, really hard and everyone goes through this struggle. It will take time, but you will get in your groove again. 

I’m no expert and I’m certainly not a doctor. If you think something is medically wrong with you, then I suggest you discuss it with a professional. I can only give you my advice, which is based on my own personal experience.

Having two babies in just over two years did quite a number on my sex life. I’m not perfect, but I’m trying really hard to get back in the game and I know you can too. 

Bio: Morgan is a Stay at Home Mom to Emma and Annie. In between eating Bon Bons and watching soaps, she writes about life, the adventures of motherhood, and the challenges of raising her two little chicks. You can read more of her at The Little Hen House.

Dear friends, do you have anything that you've learned and would like to share about post-partum libido? Just keep it at PG13 please... {smile}

opening up the conversation,

Have you registered your blog here yet?

adriel booker | the mommyhood memos | 2010 
do not reproduce without written permission