tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3086626171561679956.post4534658143294418865..comments2023-04-15T19:23:22.472+10:00Comments on the mommyhood memos: dear natural birth club, P.S.Adriel Bookerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00128519182850037060noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3086626171561679956.post-60054169786967907452010-12-07T05:32:36.119+10:002010-12-07T05:32:36.119+10:00Thanks for the follow up. I loved your first post...Thanks for the follow up. I loved your first post so much, it took me awhile but I posted about it on my blog today. It is a great reminder that we need to respect each other and honor each others experiences!Enjoy Birthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13227246774801636777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3086626171561679956.post-53099026355139271712010-11-28T12:49:36.086+10:002010-11-28T12:49:36.086+10:00I too intended to be a member of the "natural...I too intended to be a member of the "natural birth club", and I made it a whole day without progression, until I was finally given IV drugs to help me rest, then Pitocin. It was that or a C-section and I'm glad I did get the choice. However, I don't know if I care next time around what the procedure is. I think I'd like to try drug-free again, but if things are getting rough, I'm not planning to agonize and suffer for hours and hours, only to end up using the drugs or risk a C-section. I think this is a great post because since giving birth I've even talked to another mom who made me feel terrible about not going "natural", but really, is there such a thing as an "unnatural" birth?Jennie {Clover and Violet}https://www.blogger.com/profile/00729556434427823655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3086626171561679956.post-60179102654924501532010-11-21T03:08:24.467+10:002010-11-21T03:08:24.467+10:00Thanks for posting all this. As a control freak i...Thanks for posting all this. As a control freak in her first time pregnancy, it is so good for me to be reminded that I am not in control no matter how much I plan. The baby will come and hopefully it will all go smoothly and we will both be healthy. That is all I can hope for.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10549291808556569603noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3086626171561679956.post-6970996509775825852010-11-20T16:16:36.056+10:002010-11-20T16:16:36.056+10:00I think this post on another blog has an interesti...I think this post on another blog has an interesting perspective on some of the mom-to-mom talk that can leave moms feeling judged when the other mom didn't mean it that way. http://dailymomtra.com/2010/11/activism-isnt-about-being-better-than-you/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3086626171561679956.post-47901161314227622702010-11-20T16:10:54.755+10:002010-11-20T16:10:54.755+10:00I hate it when one mom makes another feel bad abou...I hate it when one mom makes another feel bad about her experiences. More commonly, I see moms unable to face other moms' experiences because of how they already feel inside. And it is what each mother feels that I am truly interested in. I'm not out to judge another mom's birth experience. I remain open to hearing how a woman truly feels, to hold the space for her story. I'm not interested in clubs, I'm interested in supporting women. I want to hold up the kind of mirror that shows women their inner strength, not one that enlarges their blemishes. And I think that birth experience matters - as the woman herself defines her experience, not me. I wish to be heard the same way: to be able to share my birth stories - the traumatic story, the ecstatic story, and the middle-road story - and for women to listen with equal interest and without hearing judgment from me about whatever their births may have been like.Meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00387238559185062480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3086626171561679956.post-61615868083461210462010-11-20T09:27:22.955+10:002010-11-20T09:27:22.955+10:00I haven't read other comments but here's m...I haven't read other comments but here's my initial reaction: the "club" (ick!) is about intention, not results. It's not like you sauntered in there at 37 weeks requesting a C-section because you were uncomfortable or bored. You worked hard, prepared for the best, and nature had other plans. Sounds pretty normal to me! ;)Mama Vhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06102510420296912721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3086626171561679956.post-70382083935557750912010-11-20T07:55:25.548+10:002010-11-20T07:55:25.548+10:00Wow, very interesting, but I DO think it's ver...Wow, very interesting, but I DO think it's very important how the baby gets here for some women. Of course there are many benefits to being born vaginally, but I think for some (not all) women, birth can be a life changing experience. For me, I long to have the natural birth experience. I had a 40 hour labor with my first son and was devastated when after 16 hours I gave in to have the epidural. I think it's pretty ridiculous that I felt that way because it was a beautiful birth and so worth the outcome. However, I believe there will be much healing that will happen during my next birth (I'm planning a homebirth). But I think it's different for each woman. Some women are more than happy to have a c-section. My sister had 3 and thought it was wonderful. My other sister has birthed 4 babies naturally and thought it was wonderful. I do take issue with our C-section rate big time. I do think moms need to do research and know their options and doctors need to start practicing evidence based medicine. But like you said, ultimately in the end the healthy baby is the most important outcome.Bri!!!https://www.blogger.com/profile/00934051919575864988noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3086626171561679956.post-28957315465490869932010-11-20T05:15:10.993+10:002010-11-20T05:15:10.993+10:00Birth is complicated... 2 stories: #1 I have a won...Birth is complicated... 2 stories: #1 I have a wonderful daughter who gave me the very thoughtful gift of following my natural birth plan to the letter (if only bf had been so easy!). story #2if not for my brave mother and her doctor's c-sec intervention neither my daughter or I would be here today (I never was very cooperative for my mom). We all enter the world in our own way!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3086626171561679956.post-77817328295223594572010-11-20T04:52:49.056+10:002010-11-20T04:52:49.056+10:00One of my top reasons for reading your blog is get...One of my top reasons for reading your blog is getting to read all of the wonderful people's comments on your posts! I remember that post well, and I love that you did a recap. (I loved seeing my AND my BFF's words up there too!) Please keep writing about hot topics - it's so neat to get to see all the other perspectives out there.cooperl788https://www.blogger.com/profile/08903541298189613642noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3086626171561679956.post-64305140214749962932010-11-20T04:41:53.102+10:002010-11-20T04:41:53.102+10:00Wish I could say the same. I'm not okay with m...Wish I could say the same. I'm not okay with my c-sec even though I know in my heart I didn't have one unnecessarily. I look at other birth stories that end with c-sec and you can often see a reason that could have been avoided (induction, pitocin, positioning, unfamiliar environment, etc) I am still, after 1 1/2 years ashamed of my c-sec. I can't ever shower, go to the bathroom, have sex, get undressed etc without seeing the scar that, in my mind ruined my otherwise normal body (never had a stitch, broken bone or been hospitalized ever, etc) I'm a part a 'club' I didn't want to join. I planned a home birth with my home birth midwife. I was in labor for 3 days, dilated to almost 10 cm and then finally realized that he was in face presentation (nose and lips coming down first, with his head flexed backwards onto his spine). Not a pretty picture and not the way he was going to come out...against all my will and planning our midwife recommended transferring to the hospital for a c-sec. (Some babies have been born in this very unusual face presentation however, after 3 days of labor my midwife really thought that if he was going to come that way he would have already. Plus, these babies usually have trauma to their neck and spine). At home, I had no other people their but my very supportive, reputable midwife and husband. I had my water pool set up, I could roam my home freely, I was healthy and strong, I got in every position imaginable, had taken all the natural childbirth classes and yet was still robbed of my experience and my son of his. It's not just about my experience but also his and it was not his preferred way to enter the world (bright lights, no skin to skin, unfamiliar smells and noises, etc). I'm pregnant again and planning another home birth. I think, I hope, it brings me the healing I'm looking for. Of course, I'm thankful for a healthy child and I made the right decision given the circumstances; however, for me anyways, the way I birth DOES matter. It is as intimate as making a baby for me and so I desire to be surrounded only by those I know and have no unnecessary interventions. I don't judge other moms but to say that they way you birth doesn't matter isn't correct for all...especially not me. The 'birth' of the mother is important too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3086626171561679956.post-56201099854201694732010-11-20T04:41:41.935+10:002010-11-20T04:41:41.935+10:00Wish I could say the same. I'm not okay with m...Wish I could say the same. I'm not okay with my c-sec even though I know in my heart I didn't have one unnecessarily. I look at other birth stories that end with c-sec and you can often see a reason that could have been avoided (induction, pitocin, positioning, unfamiliar environment, etc) I am still, after 1 1/2 years ashamed of my c-sec. I can't ever shower, go to the bathroom, have sex, get undressed etc without seeing the scar that, in my mind ruined my otherwise normal body (never had a stitch, broken bone or been hospitalized ever, etc) I'm a part a 'club' I didn't want to join. I planned a home birth with my home birth midwife. I was in labor for 3 days, dilated to almost 10 cm and then finally realized that he was in face presentation (nose and lips coming down first, with his head flexed backwards onto his spine). Not a pretty picture and not the way he was going to come out...against all my will and planning our midwife recommended transferring to the hospital for a c-sec. (Some babies have been born in this very unusual face presentation however, after 3 days of labor my midwife really thought that if he was going to come that way he would have already. Plus, these babies usually have trauma to their neck and spine). At home, I had no other people their but my very supportive, reputable midwife and husband. I had my water pool set up, I could roam my home freely, I was healthy and strong, I got in every position imaginable, had taken all the natural childbirth classes and yet was still robbed of my experience and my son of his. It's not just about my experience but also his and it was not his preferred way to enter the world (bright lights, no skin to skin, unfamiliar smells and noises, etc). I'm pregnant again and planning another home birth. I think, I hope, it brings me the healing I'm looking for. Of course, I'm thankful for a healthy child and I made the right decision given the circumstances; however, for me anyways, the way I birth DOES matter. It is as intimate as making a baby for me and so I desire to be surrounded only by those I know and have no unnecessary interventions. I don't judge other moms but to say that they way you birth doesn't matter isn't correct for all...especially not me. The 'birth' of the mother is important too.Stephanienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3086626171561679956.post-6716596449674082802010-11-20T04:40:57.360+10:002010-11-20T04:40:57.360+10:00Wish I could say the same. I'm not okay with m...Wish I could say the same. I'm not okay with my c-sec even though I know in my heart I didn't have one unnecessarily. I look at other birth stories that end with c-sec and you can often see a reason that could have been avoided (induction, pitocin, positioning, unfamiliar environment, etc) I am still, after 1 1/2 years ashamed of my c-sec. I can't ever shower, go to the bathroom, have sex, get undressed etc without seeing the scar that, in my mind ruined my otherwise normal body (never had a stitch, broken bone or been hospitalized ever, etc) I'm a part a 'club' I didn't want to join. I planned a home birth with my home birth midwife. I was in labor for 3 days, dilated to almost 10 cm and then finally realized that he was in face presentation (nose and lips coming down first, with his head flexed backwards onto his spine). Not a pretty picture and not the way he was going to come out...against all my will and planning our midwife recommended transferring to the hospital for a c-sec. (Some babies have been born in this very unusual face presentation however, after 3 days of labor my midwife really thought that if he was going to come that way he would have already. Plus, these babies usually have trauma to their neck and spine). At home, I had no other people their but my very supportive, reputable midwife and husband. I had my water pool set up, I could roam my home freely, I was healthy and strong, I got in every position imaginable, had taken all the natural childbirth classes and yet was still robbed of my experience and my son of his. It's not just about my experience but also his and it was not his preferred way to enter the world (bright lights, no skin to skin, unfamiliar smells and noises, etc). I'm pregnant again and planning another home birth. I think, I hope, it brings me the healing I'm looking for. Of course, I'm thankful for a healthy child and I made the right decision given the circumstances; however, for me anyways, the way I birth DOES matter. It is as intimate as making a baby for me and so I desire to be surrounded only by those I know and have no unnecessary interventions. I don't judge other moms but to say that they way you birth doesn't matter isn't correct for all...especially not me. The 'birth' of the mother is important too.Stephanienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3086626171561679956.post-37897184623122719462010-11-20T03:53:36.368+10:002010-11-20T03:53:36.368+10:00I have a friend who is adopting. The circumstances...I have a friend who is adopting. The circumstances surrounding their situation make the arguments about pushing vs section, natural vs pitocin, epidural vs helluvalotta pain seem trivial. She is arriving at mommyhood on a completely different, yet no less difficult or 'controversial' path. I wish mamas would quit trying to 'one up' one another and celebrate each other for our unique and beautiful experiences.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3086626171561679956.post-74812493164896826022010-11-20T02:50:22.036+10:002010-11-20T02:50:22.036+10:00This is a really interesting post (and comments fr...This is a really interesting post (and comments from your previous post). I'm not a fan of mommy "clubs" -- for birth, for feeding choices, etc, etc. <br /><br />But I just have to say I think the way we birth DOES matter. Not in the sense that if you haven't done something according to the way you want to, you've failed, but in the sense that the United States has an abysmal maternal safety record, and informed choice regarding birth options is a joke. <br /><br />I don't like the "clubs" because the feelings of judgment discourages women from telling their stories, and their feelings, and what they wanted, and experienced, and what they learned. Of course the most important thing is a healthy child, but that doesn't mean we as mothers shouldn't be informed, and empowered, and understand what our bodies are truly capable of.Suchada @ Mama Evehttp://www.mamaeve.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3086626171561679956.post-52024561200772460922010-11-20T02:39:54.676+10:002010-11-20T02:39:54.676+10:00While natural childbirth is great it has pros and ...While natural childbirth is great it has pros and cons just like medicated births do. I mean having a baby is very dangerous in general for mommy and baby so however it happens as long as mommy and baby are healthy and safe we should rejoice! <br />My son came into this world naturally...yet after he was born I still ended up getting an epidural and almost ended up with a blood transfusion AFTER he was born. It was so very scary and was NOT in my "birthing plan". <br />This next baby will be here by induction. I'm scared out of my mind. I could never judge another women for her choices because I'm not yet done having kids.....there is always a chance for complications. What I judge another woman for now could end up happening to ME later.Chelsea Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10644326967146100117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3086626171561679956.post-16724477382070551792010-11-20T01:06:22.232+10:002010-11-20T01:06:22.232+10:00I'm late! Just now reading your first post and...I'm late! Just now reading your first post and I love it!!! I was planning for a natural birth also, took a a lamaze class & labored for 12+ hours on my own and then had to have an emergency c-section!I really hated the feeling of dissapointment and feeling judged by others, but i am finally at a point - 7 months later - whrer like you I am proud of where we are today and happy he is here, alive & healthy!And then there was Anna...https://www.blogger.com/profile/07437779246799458240noreply@blogger.com